Saturday, December 26, 2009

elementary



A few points about Sherlock Holmes:

-This was either a really dumb movie which got a substantial rewrite to make it less dumb (but more confusing), or a smart movie that got chopped to pieces in editing. I like to think it was the former, and I like to envision the producer screaming "why the hell does Sherlock Holmes know how to fight? this isn't the fucking Matrix," and then whipping a coffee mug at the writer's dome like the sheriff of Malibu in Lebowski.

(Incidentally, I spent half the movie wishing they'd cast John Turturro to play the villian.)

-Has there ever been a more bromantic hero/sidekick dynamic than Holmes/Wattson? This could have been another Guy Ritchie movie with nuff invincible male bad-asses, or at least gangsters with heart. Instead we get the old-married-couple bickering of close friends who have spent too much time together (what up Apt One).

Side note: is the rise of bromance a side-effect of the mainstreaming of gay culture? I didn't really read that many reviews of I Love You, Man, but I can't be the first person to think of that.

-That being said, Sherlock Holmes is basically like a long episode of House with more punching and less Olivia Wilde. A quick visit to the Wikipedia reveals that Gregory House was actually inspired by the original Sherlock Holmes, so I guess this isn't surprising. But was Doyle's Sherlock an immature genius with an enabling sidekick (Wattson/Wilson) as well?

And if so, DID SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE INVENT BROMANCE?

-when Drop the Lime starts expounding on the power of fear as a tool of government, I realized every action movie made in the last decade is, on some level, an analogy for either the Iraq War or the Bush presidency.

-all the mystical locales were dipped in Hebrew and the cyanide tubes in the last few scenes looked exactly like a Torah, plus there's an insignia over Blackwell's tomb that looks like a dollar sign. NOT A COINCIDENCE.