Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Diary of a pwning: 4-1

Well THAT was definitve. What have I said all along? Pens in 5.



For good measure, here's Georges Laraque and Co. taunting Flyers fans after game 3-

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For extra good measure, the top 10 Mike Lange goal calls of all time-

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Diary of a pwning: 3-0

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Monday, May 12, 2008

Diary of a pwning: 2-0

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Saturday, May 10, 2008

Diary of a pwning: 1-0

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Real Live Women

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Caught Iron Man last night. Not bad. All the best parts of the movie were dialogue (ok and adorable robot jokes). The action seemed secondary. When dude is actually flying around in the Iron Man suit, the witty repartee he has with the AI is more entertaining than the explosions. It actually felt like a smart movie about relationships wrapped in a dumb action movie, like one of the many Sesame Street scenes that is ostensibly about counting but actually built around an obscure pop-culture reference.

The whole movie is more of a character study of a gifted man-child's interactions with assorted parental figures. Gwenyth Paltrow's mom'd out Pepper Potts is great, flipping what could have been a real patriarchal hot secretary role into a bad ass who lets Robert Downey Jr. know at every occasion how hopeless he is without her. Save one creepy Oedipal scene where they dance, entirely downplaying some pretty creepy sexual tension was a good look. I can't even imagine how much restraint it takes to make a summer blockbuster without a damsel in distress. I guess at the end Paltrow sort of fits that category but the assembly line movie would have had at least one shot of gratuitous cleavage and some sort of "you saved me" b/w "i love you" situation. Iron Man barely comes anywhere close to that.

You could make the argument that she's playing the Carmela Soprano role, willing to look the other way for her man's countless indiscretions in exchange for security and some nice things. But she doesn't seem all that bitter about the bitch-disposal part of her job. More likely is she's buying low and putting an emotional investment into a genius who could be a stand-up guy once he grows up a little.

And the movie really is about dude growing up a little. Even the prying reporter who he digs out in the first five minutes of the movie is a recurring character who gets vindicated when all is said and done.

(She was kind of a horse face though.)

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Shot across the bow

Here it is, the op-ed so heinously partisan that it was turned away from half of Philadelphia's alternative publications, including my former home, Philebrity.com. Joey said "we refuse to publish this pro-Pittsburgh drivel. We suggest you try Pittsburghebrity."

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF, PHILADELPHIA?




Philadelphia's relationship with Pittsburgh has always been somewhat uneasy- perhaps the western partner is too small or foreign to warrant acknowledgment from the former national capital and current underdog champion of I-95. But when the first puck drops this weekend, both cities will put their pride on the line with 30-odd skating Canucks and Slavs as proxy. Much like Philadelphians relish (and New Yorkers loathe) the degree to which sports obscure the economic and cultural asymmetry between their cities, the Turnpike war, renewed after several years of dilapidation, will again test civic pride in the Commonwealth using speed, violence and savvy instead of verbal barbs... Just kidding, there will be shit-talk as well.

The dear "D-Mac" of Philadelphia Will Do has devoted his week to bashing Pittsburgh (the Michael Fichman birthplace and homestead). I couldn't help but return from the shadows to respond in kind- largely because I'm astonished that my esteemed colleague would even cop to having left his mother's basement to enjoy the fruits of the greener, better educated, more-times-crowned city over the Alleghenies... only to trash them.

Frankly, my colleague's bad fucking attitude is no surprise. Philadelphia's outward sporting personality is deceptively honest. When it comes to the Flyers, a vicious slash is almost as good as a goal- an outward expression of hardbitten toughness, but more privately a tribute to Philly's "any means necessary" approach to asserting its existence, either as the persistent underdog or as the stern and defensive favorite. Either way, there are some existential and emotional crises just under the surface here- Philadelphia, can't you just love yourself for who you are, or do you have to get drunk and make empty boasts? Are you really that mad about New York that you have to momentarily remember, and then insult your successful and placid neighbors on I-76 just to keep from crying?



I eagerly await a response, but make it quick, because the Prince of Wales trophy will be back at home in Pittsburgh before you know it.

In a related story, my former colleague at Philebrity, Kelly White, told me that she bet her vegetarianism on a Flyers' victory. I told her she was terribly misguided, but that if the Flyers won, I would eat my hat.

Similarly, the dear Mr. Sweeney has taken to describing a Penguins jersey as a "Michael Fichman." A fitting tribute to my obtuse behavior I suppose.

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Words from the prophet

Really awesome interview with Andy Van Slyke on Yahoo sports.
Q: Where does "eyewash" come from?

AVS: I don't know the term "eyewash."

Q: Didn't you just say it?

AVS: I did. I don't know where the term came from. I guess it's just a nice way, a politically correct way, of saying that a guy is being disingenuous.
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Q: You shouldn't do that with cops, Andy.

AVS: I thought it was a funny line.
This leaves no wonder as to why Van Slyke was pretty much everybody's favorite player back in the day.

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