Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Steelers cut a starter!

The Steelers release Kenneth Hahey after beating off Sean Mahan in the shower being charged with drunk driving. Hahey started all 16 games last season at Mascot. He contributed mostly to poor special teams play and also is responsible for Willie Parker's broken leg and $7.50 cups of shitty beer.

Unfortunately, they're not eliminating the position.

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Scene of the crime.

News today that the Pirates re-signed Craig Wilson to a minor league contract. Wilson, who was with the Pirates' organization for about a decade, was the zeitgeist for the Buccos' off-Broadway bullshit these last three presidential administrations (soon I'm going to measure their failure using geological jargon for appropriate scope). Homeboy obviously had many of the tools necessary to be a consistent low-average long-ball threat (read: Major League fat dude), but he was always toiling behind some b-rate, stopgap sensei while the Pirates waited for him to "mature."

The way that story always ends with the Pirates is that they keep their prospects behind dollar-bin free agents and middling also-rans until said prospects turn 30. Rinse. Repeat. In this case, Wilson was behind Kevin Young, split time with Randall Simon, and sat idle while Reggie Sanders used the Pirates to keep his name in GMs mouths. Only once (2004) did Wilson go to the plate more than 375 times. That year he hit 29 homers (and drove in shit because the team OBP was 12th of 16 in the NL). The next year, he was traded- possibly because his value was at its likely ceiling, but most likely because Wilson was 28 years old and the Pirates were aware that his prime was almost over. They had wasted it.

Anyways, welcome back Craig Wilson, you're awesome and I'm sorry the Pirates fucked you over, but now, if you're lucky, you get to be Kevin Young for a few years and maybe you can help keep Steve Pearce, our best prospect, in the minors this year so that he can turn 27 without ever playing in the majors. Either way, it's cool that you got to play for the Yankees.

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Saturday, April 05, 2008


Watch for an important revelation at about 1:13.

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Friday, April 04, 2008

Fog Machines and Laser Rays

If you came here looking for your fix, you can get it over at

NY, DC and Philly this weekend!

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