Wednesday, January 23, 2008

You should know

Sebastien Tellier is cold dumbdumb retarded. I'm not mixing my ethnomusical geographic descriptions wantonly here either. He goes dumb with his fanny pack on. He's French, but he wishes he was Italian. He dresses like he's ready for some yachting. He's hype in that mellow sort of way. He makes atmospheric electro-disco. Following me? No?

OK, so the hyphy part comes in because he has a very particular type of hipster sex predator aesthetic he's trying to cultivate. It's marketing, man. Dude is the Scweez (The Dummy Retarded Mexican, for those unfamiliar) to Bangalter's E-40. He goes dumb in between the sheets. Gas, scrape, dip = Coke, champagne, dick. This is 2008, we're too materialistic and AIDS-ridden to have insane coke orgies in the back of a disco. We just caricature debauchery and sell it.

La Ritournelle was probably the track of '06. Basically, it was the only piece of music in late 2006 or early 2007 that make my basalt musical superego register anything resembling a less-than-superficial human emotion.* Sexual Sportswear, buried in Q4 like any decent Jay-era Def Jam album, shredded December, '07.

So he's got an interview up in The Fader, plus a new promo track called Divine, which kind of sucks. It's like an early French Beatles Cover band went forward in time and brought back a Casio. Not a good look. But the interview is entertaining to read and leaves me with the impression that I don't want any girl I fancy anywhere near Sebastien Tellier because he's going to seduce them with mood disco and his swishy white pants and have unspeakably filthy sex with them. He's like one of those dudes who preys on foreign exchange students at the Sorbonne or something- he's got an accent, and even though he can't help it, that gives him an advantage.


Some select quotes:
First I wrote the album for a year. Guy-Man came home, heard some songs. After a couple glasses of Champagne, he agreed to work on the album...

I wanted to record erotic music, I wanted to excite people in an Italian way...

In my erotic fantasies, sportswear is very important. I prefer to put down a mini short rather than lift up a mini skirt...
A yo.

Sebastien Tellier - Sexual Sportswear

*- I heard a remix of La Ritournelle by some dude named Jake Bullitt at some point and it was fresh. I looked around for it and found shit. If you know where to find it, holler.

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