Monday, December 03, 2007

Bitch I got the Mondays



OK, which of the following stories is more ridiculous:

Some dude in Montana hit a shopping mall Santa in the face with a pie. That's not really that funny, but the peripherals here are awesome:
Clint Westwood, 22, said he "lightly smooshed" the pie into the man's face Wednesday and shouted, "What do you think of that, Santa?"....He said that after the pie ruckus, he expected to approach Santa for a signature on a film-release form, but police arrived first.
I should also mention that the pie was a pumpkin pie, which strikes me as a very non-standard choice.

CLINT WESTWOOD?



I never would have seen that story if it weren't in the AP News feed in the sidebar of Ron Cook's official WORST COLUMN EVER WRITTEN today in the Post-Gazette. Now, I should start by saying that I like Ron. He's a nice guy, and when I worked the late shift at the Post-Gazette, I often sat at his desk because he works from home a lot and there aren't enough desks in the sports department because the staff largely works in shifts. So Ron would come in and grab things from his desk and say hello and he is a smart and pleasant guy. Good writer too, but I have to imagine he had something really pressing to do when he decided to write a column entitled...

Benching Big Ben for slow start bad idea

Wha? Yeah, Ben threw like 5 or 7 wet footballs over his receivers' heads in the first quarter last night, but benching the Super Bowl-winning franchise quarterback who is 2nd in the league in passer rating has never exactly been an option. It wasn't last night, or any time this season. Even last year when he was feeble-minded from putting his head through a Chrysler windshield, nobody considered it too seriously. The kid had just won the Super Bowl, let him take his lumps.

So, uh, where exactly did this column come from? I think Ron knew he had a column due but his car got towed or who knows what, so he decided to write the most unassailable column in the history of sports writing, one entitled "Why you don't bench a player everybody agrees is playing really well."

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