Tuesday, November 06, 2007

How 'bout them 'lers + Jandek???

Well, good to know we disassembled the team that traditionally gives us so much trouble. Even though the Ravens are on the downhill and behind the "surprising" Gaybos Browns in the division, they still usually come out hitting. In fact, Willie, as is customary against the Ravens, had real crappy day. I, too, nearly had a crappy day. You see, Ted and I had forgotten it was Jandek night at the Cafe.

We have a regular customer who is enamored with Jandek and so he organizes "Jandek Nights" where by a group of people congregate to take turns covering Jandek songs. His name is Maurice and he's a fairly decent fellow. His covers last night were performed upon a thrift-shop guitar in Arabic tuning, a reverb unit, a ring mod, graphic fuzz, and 3 or 4 delay units plus a canary yellow ukulele with a contact pickup on it. Plus a singing mic.

Well, you can imagine that Ted and I feared the worst when we saw him walk through the door with a guitar in his hand saying "You guys ready for Jandek night?" We were not ready for Jandek night. We were ready for the football. All our rowdy friends were coming over in the relative calm of people leaving the cafe as is the custom on a Monday night.

Ted during better days.

"Well fuck this! I'm turning on the game! On mute! Perhaps with closed captioning!"

Game went on silently to the soundtrack of Avant noise and experimental vocalization and Jandek night cleared the place out like Sage Francis on the dance floor. Ted and I had an easy night and we were out at the half, Cageward. Where we met Lynn. And talked about records. And had beer. And watched more of James Harrison (8 tackles, 3 sacks, 2 ff's, 1 pick) putting his nuts on McNair's forehead.

This surprising whoadie is coming into his own.

Granted, everyone stepped the fuck up tonight. Even though Willie was having a bad night running, he was picking up Jamal Lewis on the blitz real nice. Ben tore it up and our wideouts got real fucking open. We're becoming one of those "good tight end" teams, but we have a good receiving game, too. Teams keep trying to smother up Hines Ward and after last week's 2 TD's and his grabs in the opening drive last night he was pretty much quiet. No matter. 13 for 16. 5TD's. That's a touchdown approximately every 3 pass attempts. And despite long TD passes and little rushing attack, we still owned the T.O.P. game.

Last season when the Steelers would get shook before games they would fail. Last night we owned them. 38-7 is one sweet plum. And we realistically could have shut them out, the only sour weed in last night's luscious bouquet of football roses.

Verbs says "McNair is a bum."

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