Thursday, November 29, 2007

Bomb drops

Just finished working on a new joint. It's a reworking of a track I actually made a couple of years ago.

DJ Apt One - Mickey Dreidels Theme (320)

Frankly, it's the jam.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sardines for dinner part 2

Motherfucker had style

Tomorrow, my column in Philebrity addresses (in part) the murder of Redskins safety Sean Taylor. It was a year ago in this space that frustration forced me to pen a long and involved essay on the underbelly of the professional sports- the machine which thrusts often ill-equipped, impoverished man-children into the media limelight and exposes them to the double world in which Dos described T.I. not so long ago.

In my column, I ultimately direct readers towards the essay I wrote regarding the murder of Darrent Williams, and I encourage readers of this blog to do the same.

You can find that post here.

I'll post the Philebrity link when it goes live.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Dada street life part 2 (peenie pills edition)

The whoadie Christian TeBordo (pictured above) has a new novel out. I heard him read from it a few months back and it was excellent. Or at least I thought so at the time because I spent most of the reading trying to stop the bar's 45-year-old sound system from translating his excerpts into whale language, so I guess I wasn't really paying attention. Just kidding. I was listening. I needed a good way to work in that whale joke. But seriously folks. It's a good book, and Christian is a good dude. A bad rapper, but a good dude.

CT did an interview over at Here's an excerpt:
Much later, my mother passed away, and I really did begin to receive spam from her account. After a while I decided to fictionalize that, and it resulted in a longish novella that is pretty similar to the book in its current form.
Yeah, it's like that. He also advocates for the firing of Isaiah Thomas, which is admirable, though not as adventorous or groundbreaking as a supernatural penis enlargement spam scheme.

Read the whole thing here.

Buy his book on Amazon or your genitals will rot off. Seriously. They will.

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Free Lunch (No Homo)

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The Tuesday night drive to the ancestral motherland of Yardley, PA was dope because your favorite violent Muslim rapper Freeway put out his sophomore album on that same day. It's called Free At Last and it's very very good. I liked his mixtape from the summer, Live Free Or Die Hard, but a number of people who hated that tape (everyone but me, apparently--DUDES BLACK THOUGHT WAS ON IT!) agree with me. So let that be some kind of endorsement.

The whole album sounds a little bit like "Line Em Up" from his first joint, and that is in no way a bad thing. Just old soul loops and a whole lot of rough rhyming. "It's Over," "Still Got Love" and "Spit That Shit" are just wild east coast hard core rap. There's a sick posse cut called "Walk With Me" with Jadakiss and Busta, where Busta talks about fucking bitches in Park Slope and that cracks me up. Scarface shows up on "Baby Don't Do It" and it's a really good match because Face has that desperation drawl on lock. There's not much for the clubs here, besides "Big Spender," which has been strangely renamed "Roc-A-Fella Billionaires." There's a joint with 50 Cent called "To the Top" and it was on the radio when I was in Philly, and though it's not that bad, Free doesn't sound right doin anything for the ladies. I mean, he's a Muslim.

(Side note: is there any rapper with less crossover appeal than Freeway? Everyone else has this smooth side that can flip and become LL Cool J should need be. At least Beanie Sigel has good drugs. What girl is gonna fuck with a dude with a giant beard, stringent religious beliefs, a permanent screwface and a weird high growly voice? Do you think the ladies like gettin EARLY'd?)

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Yung Hiatus

Sorry about the sparseness of the posting round here. Everybody has been doing lots of traveling with the holidays and such. To keep you entertained, here's a college ref explaining a penalty in a ridiculous way:

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

dear mssrs. tomlin and arians,

What the fuck were you thinking running that draw on 3rd and 14? A full explanation will be due as soon as possible.


Friday, November 16, 2007

fog machines and laser rays, pittsburgh edition.

There seems to be a fair amount of stuff going on this weekend and next. Here are all the things that I won't be going to:


DJ DB @ Z:Lounge, E. Carson St., Southside - DJ DB has been a pretty big deal in the American Drum & Bass scene for a long time. If you're into D&B, this is the place for you. $5 cover with flyer, which can be printed out from


Random Therapy @ Millsite Tavern, 2512 E. Carson St., Southside - This week is featuring a 4x4 set from the Humanaut crew (Matt Monroe, Aaron Clark, Paul Alexander, and Adam Oliveri). Humanaut have been throwing some of the biggest parties around here, and are sick DJs. The place to go if you wanna hear some minimal tech house funk bleepy shit. Also playing are residents Nolan and Rezon-8. No cover, drinks are cheap.


Luke Fair @ Privilege, Smallman St., Strip District - Wanna be a complete wreck for hanging out with your rays on Thanksgiving? Go to this. House madness. Opening duties will be performed by Matt Monroe. Presales are $12, and you can probably get them by checking out I'd imagine door tickets will be $15.

Next Saturday

Our own Whoadie @ Brillobox, Penn & Main, Bloomfield - DJ Apt One with Ed Umm and someone else, I think. This will be the place to be. No idea what the cover is, but it'll be cheap, and the drinks are cheap too. Show up and throw down.

Next Sunday

The Harlan Twins @ Howler's, Liberty Ave., Bloomfield - This is my band. We play country/rock shit. I'm pretty sure we don't suck. Opening up are the Beagle Brothers, who play awesome burned-out-punk-rocker bluegrass. There's no cover, and a free Vegan buffet, and the beer at Howler's is dirt cheap. I'll see y'all there.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Tat-tat-tatted Up

More spaced-out modern soul beats, k thx bai.

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Fog Machines and Laser Rays

This is a pretty jam-packed weekend folks. Here's what's going on in Philly.


-Homeboy Nick Hook's band Men Women and Children is playing with RX Bandits at the TLA (4th and South)

-The best band in Philadelphia, Normal Love, is releasing their long anticipated debut album at Pilam (39th and Spruce). Why this is in a Penn frat, I don't know. And no, I don't care that it's the hipster frat. It's a fucking frat. At Penn. That said, Normal Love- best band in Philly. Not kidding.

-Dirty South Joe and Brendan Bringem unleash young bol DJ Sega on the Mansion (19th and Sansom). In case you forgot, Sega fucking slayed it at our last Medusa jawn. Flyer here.

-Mike Tee and Billy Werner get all up in your robogrill at Robotique at Medusa Lounge.


As Keith Jackson used to say- this is the Granddaddy of Them All... or at least for us it damn sure is-

Philadelphyinz is celebrating 2 years of making your face melt off with everything that you know and love about partying, DJing, music and nuclear physics. Celebrate the good and the bad with us at Medusa Lounge. No Cover as always- and look out for the special surprises!

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Take em to war

Color coordinated for perhaps the first time in my life

Last night's smasheroo with Flosstradamus was a smasheroo indeed. Had a great time, and the crowd was an ideal group for the stuff I wanted to play. I also had a bunch of people come up and tell me that the Philadelphyinz Bar Mitzvah was a big favorite of theirs, which was great to hear considering all the hard work we put in on it earlier this year.

Just a reminder, you can still download it HERE.

The dudes at magazine took the flicks you see above and below. You can see them all HERE (including one that I think is the weird and voyeuristic Underboober).

Yes, that's Bushy, the man behind the excellent Ourtalk blog.


Amanda Blank, who apparently has a wiki.


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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Fog Machines and Laser Rays- Midweek edition

Tonight at Silk City, 5th and Spring Garden Streets, Philly:

Apt One and Flosstradamus (not really in that order). Free before 11PM, $5 after.

Flossy is our steelo big time. Denizens of the Chicago juke sound and party-rockers supreme, dudes kill it on their own and as the force behind some of our favorite recent rap acts- Kid Sister for one. This year they've blown the fuck up, playing SXSW, Coachella, Pitchfork Festival and Lollapalloza (which apparently still exists).

Flosstradamus - The 3peat Mix (Opens with the Chicago Bulls jawn... sayin)

I'm psyched to be on this bill, so come out and support, and don't forget, Philadelphyinz 2-year anniversary this Saturday at Medusa.

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cold lampin

This new Nas single makes me really happy. Nas has settled in to a late period where he just stays nostalgic. First "Can't Forget About You" (and, well, a lot of Hip-Hop Is Dead) and now this rear view jam.

It reminds me a lot of "Doo Rags" which is actually like 10 years old, but is on some similar shit. It's also one of my favorite Nas tracks of all time.

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I Reckon I Can Take You To School


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How 'bout them 'lers + Jandek???

Well, good to know we disassembled the team that traditionally gives us so much trouble. Even though the Ravens are on the downhill and behind the "surprising" Gaybos Browns in the division, they still usually come out hitting. In fact, Willie, as is customary against the Ravens, had real crappy day. I, too, nearly had a crappy day. You see, Ted and I had forgotten it was Jandek night at the Cafe.

We have a regular customer who is enamored with Jandek and so he organizes "Jandek Nights" where by a group of people congregate to take turns covering Jandek songs. His name is Maurice and he's a fairly decent fellow. His covers last night were performed upon a thrift-shop guitar in Arabic tuning, a reverb unit, a ring mod, graphic fuzz, and 3 or 4 delay units plus a canary yellow ukulele with a contact pickup on it. Plus a singing mic.

Well, you can imagine that Ted and I feared the worst when we saw him walk through the door with a guitar in his hand saying "You guys ready for Jandek night?" We were not ready for Jandek night. We were ready for the football. All our rowdy friends were coming over in the relative calm of people leaving the cafe as is the custom on a Monday night.

Ted during better days.

"Well fuck this! I'm turning on the game! On mute! Perhaps with closed captioning!"

Game went on silently to the soundtrack of Avant noise and experimental vocalization and Jandek night cleared the place out like Sage Francis on the dance floor. Ted and I had an easy night and we were out at the half, Cageward. Where we met Lynn. And talked about records. And had beer. And watched more of James Harrison (8 tackles, 3 sacks, 2 ff's, 1 pick) putting his nuts on McNair's forehead.

This surprising whoadie is coming into his own.

Granted, everyone stepped the fuck up tonight. Even though Willie was having a bad night running, he was picking up Jamal Lewis on the blitz real nice. Ben tore it up and our wideouts got real fucking open. We're becoming one of those "good tight end" teams, but we have a good receiving game, too. Teams keep trying to smother up Hines Ward and after last week's 2 TD's and his grabs in the opening drive last night he was pretty much quiet. No matter. 13 for 16. 5TD's. That's a touchdown approximately every 3 pass attempts. And despite long TD passes and little rushing attack, we still owned the T.O.P. game.

Last season when the Steelers would get shook before games they would fail. Last night we owned them. 38-7 is one sweet plum. And we realistically could have shut them out, the only sour weed in last night's luscious bouquet of football roses.

Verbs says "McNair is a bum."

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