Monday, October 22, 2007

My wig they wanna peel it back

So Skinny and I have spent about $170,000 on marketing consultants this year trying to cultivate a "new" image for our Disc Jockeying and classical music performance careers.

Skinny is contemplating a switch to "Trent Holograms" and undertaking a 9 step personal metamorphasis project that is going to involve a lot of therapy and elective surgery, so we're holding off.

Right now we are working on a potential new persona for me named Mickey Dreidels. If we like what we get, I might change my government name to that. It's not altogether that different from my current name. It really depends if we can get this done before taxes, and if so, whether I write it off.

We'd like suggestions because we think an open creative process will yield better results. Here's what we've got for me so far:

-I eschew traditional sherm in favor of cigarettes dipped in snake venom. I had to wrestle cobras in order to get the sherm, and then I played a crazy 6000 person warehouse party in Bujumbura
-I get my records from the East German secret police record pool
-I produce using a micro korg I got specially engineered to be so large that it needs its own room in my house
-Wayne Gretzky does the cuts on my new album
-I reject traditional Judaism in favor of a more contemporary version that includes the Joy of Cooking in the Pentatuch
-I ghost-wrote the Canadian national anthem
-I bought one of those giant inflatable carnival rooms that you jump around in. It's on my front porch.
-I don't have shoe deal but I do have a sock deal.
-I denounce the New York Times editorial which labeled me as "a threat to the region" and "one of the most ruthless dictators we've seen since the time of Stalin." Most of the facts they cited were inaccurate.

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