Monday, July 16, 2007

Just Sayin Pentagon Papers- Terroristic Badgers and the future of Iraqi Dance Music



In case you've been living under a rock for the last 72 hours, you already know that some sort of vicious, man-eating honey badger is terrorizing Basra, Iraq. Aside from this being extremely funny, it is a reminder of the days when mankind was constantly under threat from vicious carnivores. These were the days before we invented the Clovis spear point and turned all these animals into college football team mascots.

Here's a leaked communication between myself and JS2000 ally Challah:

Challah: every single person i saw all weekend would not stop talking about these badgers.
GentleWhoadie9000: they just got signed to Ed Banger
C: their myspace is out of control. i heard they haven't even started learning to play instruments yet. that's how confident they are.
GW9K: yeah, but the fashion at their parties is totally wild
C: i hear google is thinking of buying out their whole badger act for something like 500 million dollars. and one of the badgers is dating the girl from fiery furnaces now. the other one is too busy growling and cleaning himself.
GW9K: lou dobbs fucking hates those things



Now that your sweetbreads are adequately scrambled, head on over to Philebrity, where I'm busy writing fantastical letters to celebrities full of cryptic Lil' Wayne references.

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