Friday, March 30, 2007

legal hustle

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Just a message to the Feds watchin JS2K headquarters down the block in the Fed Ex truck. I SEE YOU LESTER. On the real, I still had to resort to alternative means to obtain To Serve And Collect because the bitch wouldn't work in the laptop (ayo).

Anyways, here are some photos from the Def Jux extravaganza last week, which apparently went over much better than the same show in LA. There are still some annoying "rappy" aspects to the aesthetic--Mr. Dibbs' scratch solo and mosh-pit are so fucking tired anyways and he knows it--but El-P has really made a place for Def Jux as the voice of rap in the genreless indie forefront. He didn't need a TVOTR collaboration to make that explicit. Aesop Rock looks a lot like my brother.

P-Yinz was ridonk last weekend also, with the nice weather and whatnot. Visual evidence here.

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The entire ATHF movie is apparently going to air on Sunday on Cartoon Network. I have neither VCR nor cable. I do, however, have a blog, wherein I can solicit volunteers to tape it for me. Holler at your boy. (Seen via The Clog)


-Like I said last time, the Phawker Phillies musical season preview is up, but it's so good that once it fades onto page two or three, I'll repost it here.

-XXL's Billy Sunday has officially joined the fraternity of "How can that be right" along with many of his current and past stablemates. I was gonna repost some choice (e.g. not choice) quotes from his latest paean to the fair sex Hip Hop's Next Top Whore, but frankly, it's just too nasty for Skinny's weak stomach. Let's just say the phrases "mileage on her twat," "golden showers" and "colon walls" make an appearance, in an entirely serious way.

Now, I don't mind a post where you talk about chicks you want to dig out, but this is next level grimy for anything short of a skin mag. The comments section is a general collection of some "hell yeah, i secretly masturbated to this post. Good work!" sort of stuff, but I get the feeling Tara Henley is looking through her workplace harrassment manual as we speak.

And now, once again from the file of IS...THIS...RACIST!?!?!?! (answer: yes)

We have a submission from our recent contributor Dos:
Now I am far too tired to weigh in on Greater Suburbia's attitude toward American History and the role of race in American society. I will say this though. C-Rayz Walz, a brillaint musician and thinker coined the term "blackface routine" in reference to shoddy treatment he received at the hands of racist white people unused to confronting anyone of a different color or ethnicity. The term can only be successfully coined in the face of extreme stupidity, the type of situation that makes one say WOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Some idiots from West Windsor New Jersey have really raised the bar on teen idiocy in America. Unfortunately these kids are almost definitely going to grow up to be as stupid as their parents. If I held them in the air by their throats for a bit I still don't think they would really understand what is so annoying about this. So in the vein of rapping Rove I give you:

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Fog Machines and Laser Rays

Gettin' at you early this week because this weekend starts on Thursday for real:


Paradise at Key West
As always, the illest in electro bangers, mind melting italo et al. Mike T. is in Europe, so homeboys Stepchild and Operant77 handle the wheels. Keep in mind, the place has an angled-panel rotary mixer, so you gotta be a menace on the decks.
Open Bar 10-11. No cover. Juniper btw. Walnut and Locust.

Across the way at Sal's, there's a special Broadzilla featuring Bonde de Role, Plastic Little and others, including a special guest, who you can probably identify if you really think about it. This show was supposed to be at Danger Danger in West Philly, but you seriously can't put more than 35 people in there- it's a fucking basement.
9-2, $5. 12th and Walnut.


WestWax presents Nobody's Dirty Business in a balls-out warehouse stylee. The West Philly DJ collective founded by yours truly (and others) is jumping off in a new, recently renovated warehouse space featuring a super nice sound system, VIP room and an upper level. The party starts at 9PM and goes all night. But wait- here's the linuep:

Kyle Miller (Bleached Black, Intensified), Apt One (Philadelphyinz), Kenny Raw (Tech Support), Operant77 (Tech Support), Andrew Gaspar (Bleached Black), JJC (West Wax), Stepchild (Paradise, Disconnect), Honky Lips (WestWax), Sebastian Petsu (WestWax)


PhilafunkLive (8 N. Preston St.- btw. 40th and 41st off Market, El to 40th St). 9PM-??. $5, BYOB.


?uestlove of the Roots at Fluid, 4th and South. $7 cover.

UPDATE: Phawker's Phillies Musical Season Preview has just gone live.

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Karl Rove does not care about black people

Wait until the 1:40 mark for MC Rove to, uh, do whatever it is MC Rove does:

New Phawker post today- a musical Phillies season preview. I'll put up a live link when it's up.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The ghost of Chris Tamer rises from the ashes

Holy Pietrangelo, Pens clinch playoff berth

In the olden, golden days, it was just a given that the Pens were playoff-bound. Now it seems like a privilege. From death to life in about three weeks.

[PG: Pens clinch playoffs for first time since 9/11]

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Monday, March 26, 2007

New era

OK, so blogs are on TV. The universe should explode any minute now. Watch as Jamie Mottram of Fanhouse and Mr. Irrelevant and Dan Steinberg of DC Sports Bog show why they have faces for radio and voices for see why this is insane? But it's great. Here's part 1 wherein our blood over at gets a TV mention:

I dunno, TV as a medium is not well suited to a big string of inside jokes- but that only stands as a barrier to the show's success, not my enjoyment of it.

By the way, still no word from the Cold Warrior over at Mondesi's House. If you'll recall, earlier today we scooped him on a big Spanish language story about his blog's totemic spirit animal. Perhaps it's been a big day of trading authenticated jersey swatches for pictures of busted chicks with beered up athletes. It remains to be seen whether our tipster submission will be rewarded with a link or a bobblehead with a cherry bomb in it.

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swagger jackin

That up there is a sea of goodies bags for SXSW folkers, courtesy of Kathryn.

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Many thanks to reader BuckwildMartinez69, who submitted our link of the week. As promised he wins a day-long shopping spree at the Unclaimed Freight warehouse with Black Nationalist rappers X-Clan and former Penguins goalie Ken Wregget. Further congratulations on winning BONUS PRIZES including a bag full of Jim Leyland cigarette butts (with certificate of authenticity) and an autographed, game worn Jim Jones kufi. Furthermore, we will be submitting ourselves as a link to Mondesi's House, and if we win anything in his sweepstakes, we'll be sure to give it to our loyal tipster.

So just what was the hot tip that BuckwildMartinez69 dug up for us?

Raul Mondesi, best known for his namesake sugarcane farming blog Mondesi's House, is apparently planning a comeback- possibly with the Mets, who are Dominican north these days. Check out the details from El Nuevo Dia (warning- article is in Spanish). Whether this is true or not, I don't know, but I haven't heard any denials out of the Mets camp.

We'll make sure to keep you posted.

[El Nuevo Dia: Con Ofertas Mondesi]

P.S. RIP Professor X of X-Clan, who died just over a year ago.

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Friday, March 23, 2007

shea on smash


Juelz Santana - "Second Coming"
Mets get Dipset team sponsorship. Beef with 50 Cent drives the Mets from Queens. New stadium in Harlem. Purple bats. Jose Reyes mixtape. Jim Jones in the bullpen.

Nas - "New York State of Mind"
David Wright wins MVP, then hits .260 for the next decade. Carlos Delgado stops sleeping, because sleep is the cousin of death. Willie Randolph announces intentions to "ether" the Florida Marlins.

O.A.R. - "That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker"
Wright majors in psych, then switches to the business school. Tribal tattoos.

Pharrell f/ Jay-Z - "Frontin"
Wright gets ideas and leaves the Mets to start his own team. Paul Lo Duca does not bag Beyonce.

U2 - "Mysterious Ways"
David Wright cures AIDS. Mets move to Darfur.

Bruce Springsteen - "Born To Run"
After 10 hard years on the job, Wright is finally offered a promotion down at the baseball factory. Massive union support increases Mets' fanbase exponentially. Wright loses a hand in a pitching machine.

David Bowie - "Fame"
Stardust-inspired facepaint begets Baseball Furies-inspried rage. Steroid indictments. Annoying testimony. Paul Lo Duca does not bag Mick Jagger.

Pearl Jam - "Better Man"
The salinity of the tears of despondent housewives in the stadium wreak havoc on Shea's plumbing. Mets move to Harlem. Stone Gossard in the bullpen.

Kanye West - "Gold Digger"
Kanye West shows up after Mets world series victory insisting his contribution be acknowledged. Justin Morneau signs to Ed Banger records.

Guns N' Roses - "Paradise City"

David Wright hits for the cycle, then never bats again.

M.I.A. - "Galang"
This. Or this.

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Fog Machines and Laser Rays

Tastemakers that we are, I figure it's time that we get back into our habit of letting our small but influential readership know how they should be spending their hard earned dollars on entertainments. We used to sporadically shout shit out (e.g. our own nights), but I'd like to make an effort to let all you bols and jawns know what we think is the balls.

This weekend:


Seclusiasis presents The Straight Dope w/ Dev and Stumble.
Upstairs at the Khyber.
These guys get unending props for lending Skinny a Serato record when Aaron LaCrate had accidentally run off with one of ours the night before.
See the flyer (with pills!) here.


Much like the Rose Bowl, it's the granddaddy of them all:

Upstairs at the Khyber.
Apt One and Skinny Friedman doing damage on the wheels.
No Cover, $1 PBR until 11. 56 S. 2nd Street.
As always, Philly's best funk/rap/disco/electro/soul/bmore/oldschool/muppetsongs.
I know the flyer is too big, but it's beautiful.

Our boys Relative Q and Burnso (the other half of CockBlock 4) throw down at Belvedere's in Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh. This is the top choice shit that Pittsburgh needs these days. Get your ridiculoid on. No Cover, no pants on.

Shit, I ALMOST! forgot:

Homeboys Tim/Christian/Thom and the Ubermensch Micah AKA the Failed Alliance are playing an early show (5 PM) at the Veggieplex (1019 S. 47th St., West Philly) with some bols from Scandinavia who call themselves "Fun." Oookay.

Very very nice flyer here.


Thursday, March 22, 2007

The great illadelph syrup shortage

From time to time we like to have our degenerate friends get a word in. Today's guest writer is Dos. He's written for us before- see those pieces here and here.

Its been a long time since the folks at Just Sayin' have accepted any of my submissions. But this is a piece of investigative reportage worthy or Woodward, or maybe even Bobby Novak, so I knew I'd get some love.

I had been gone for sometime getting money in Northern Europe, getting lifted on the rooftops of Finnish housing projects, standard ish. I returned to Philly to learn my wiz had fallen ill with the same death flu that kept me laid up shaking for four days in Porvoo while Pittsburgh b-ball phenom Nate Gerwig did his best to keep me out of the hospital. So after my return I take my girl to the doctor and coach her on the proper symptoms to describe so that she might acquire the holy grail of prescription medication. I am speaking of course about syrup.

Dubbed either the "yellow" or the "purple" by bols in Philly or "Lean" by the Texas cats who most commonly sip it, these synthetic opiods are the strongest shit you can grab save Oxys (but who really wants to do the drug next to heroin...much better to do the drug next to the drug next to heroin). The correct names for each strain of syrup are Promethazine with Codeine (purple) and Tussionex (Yellow). The reason for the wild popularity of these drugs is a complex chemical reaction that occurs when the syrup is ingested with the drug benzodiazapine. Benzos such as valium, xanax, and kolonopins react with Prometh or Tussan to create a feeling of total engulfing, orgasmic, nodding, euphoria. Drinking an ounce of yellow or purple mixed with a benzo of three will make one feel like they did some awesome H with none of the social stigma and about two thirds less of the addictiveness. Time slows, your heart rate plummets, everything from the wind on your face to the coursing of your blood feels incredible. You fall asleep in pure bliss only to come to a few seconds later feeling even better. It also makes females hornier than female prisoners while giving any potent male a rock hard erection that lasts three days. Want a first date to remember? Give her a sip of yellow and hit her with the syrup dick. Then turn your phone off because she will blow it to digital shreds.

Needless to say this drug has gained a cache amongst rappers due to all of these attributes. Terrence Kiel was also arrested for shipping the sip from Cali to Texas. (On the flip side this shit also causes heart failure (RIP Screw....duh), poor decision making (Beans), and crystalized kidneys (all my friends STANDUP!!!!). It made me rob a dude in front of the 7-11 on Lombard and its ruined a lot of lives. You can get it on the street up North near Diamond Street if you know some heads. A sealed pint of yellow is about 700 and change. One of purple is about 65% of that price.

So after some wrangling and tearful coughing my boo emerged with a scrip for Purple. Good but not great. Especially the quantity. But we went to fill it regardless. We tried one Rite Aid. Then another. Then another. Then another. We callled over 13 Rite Aid's and Eckerds before giving up. We called back the Doctor who gave us a number for a super secret hospital pharmacy. No dice. According to everyone we talked to, cough syrup is on two week back order in the greater Philly area. This means that if you live in Philly you cannot get this medicine no matter what. It is gone and is not coming back anytime soon. The amount of scrips coming in for it far exceed the amount on hand. Not to mention all the sealed bottles that go "missing" from warehouses and pharmacy shelves. So even with a real scrip for sip it is impossible to gain any of it. Too many forged scrips and shrinkage. A medicine shortage in one of America's major cities, where the fuck are we? Malawi? Are Illadelphians that addicted to syrup? Yup. We went to Jersey got it filled and then traded it in for just under a half of Jack Frost. So all's well that ends well.

Humor aside its amazing to me that major pharmaceutical distributors such as Glaxo Smith Kline or Pfizer who have major corporate headquarters in the Philly Dela area, continue to flood our streets with legal dope and get away with it. You buy these drugs in depressed neighborhoods from kids who sell them for food and clothing money. The syrup, the xanax, oxy's, all of it is available on the block. Most of these cats don't have health insurance let alone access to forged prescriptions. And even forged perscriptions don't explain sealed bottles of sip and boxes of pills disappearing from pharmacies while being available on the street. Except the obvious: all of these drugs are highly affordable on even the worst prescription plans while on the block they increase in value twenty fold. Seventeen year old kids having access to trucking skids filled with pharmies really means only one thing: someone from the Pharmaceutical giants is funneling all of this directly to the streets. Want proof? Go to 17th Street with as much loot as you can grab and see what you can get, sealed bar coded and all. Living in the dirtiest major city in America (Nawlins is off the this now, too small) is a strange thing indeed.


[Frayser Boy, Mike Jones, Paul Wall: Got Dat Drank]
[Prince: Purple Rain, Live at Super Bowl XLI]

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Is this racist?

Is it?


quality control

Chali 2na takes a dump on stage, just like they did in '88.

I don't have much to add to the numerous Jurassic 5 eulogies that hasn't already been said. They were talented emcees with a pair of unfadeable dj's making enjoyable if somewhat derivative music. J5 catered to the scared-of-new-rap contingent in a way the Roots and Black Star never did, so their backslide into the shark-jumping Dave Matthew collab (which wasn't even that bad) was inevitable. But dudes had a classic EP, a pair of solid albums and one of the best live shows of the backpacker era. That's enough for me to excuse their wholesale biting of Super Lover Cee lyrics.

Oh and absolutely nothing is fucking with "A Day At The Races" with Big Daddy Kane and Percee P. That track was INSANE.

Anyways, I got to interview Jurassic 5 back in 2003. It was pretty dull, cramped in the back of their tour bus with Chali 2na hitting on the girl who came with me, and going on for a good 10 minutes about how reclusive British emcee Skinnyman (note: NO MYSPACE PAGE) is a stand-up guy.

But between the interview and the show, I got to kick it with Cut Chemist, who had literally ran from me when he saw the minidisc and microphone. He seemed massively depressed, saying all he did was sleep on the bus and how sick he was of watching the rest of the band play Def Jam Vendetta and Fight Night. We hit up Vintage Vinyl and he hooked up with at least 15 dollar bin breaks. Dude said he was only buying records that he knew Edan didn't have, or to break them over his head for stress relief. I talked him into buying Mike the 2600 King and Doug Surreal's "T.A.B.L.A.M.F.C.B.", and when the counter girl giggled at what it stood for ("treat a bitch like a motherfuckin crack bitch"), he lamented that girls in LA wouldn't find that funny.

As we walked back to the club, he expressed concern in being able to get in without any ID. "I look like our biggest fan," he said.

Not at all surprising Cut left the group shortly afterwards.

Earlier: GW9K brings up some questions for classroom discussion regarding J5's demise.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Dog shit disco edit

Somehow, Sickamore has returned to XXL and revived the feud with ESPN's Jamele Hill that made everybody throw up in their mouths a little bit after Darrent Williams' death. I had thought he was kicked off XXL after part one, which we described as a "wild meltdown."

Frankly, we dealt with the Williams shooting much better over here.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

Ultimate Sayin Vol. XVIII

Seen via ProHipHop

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Sunday, March 18, 2007


Jurassic 5 calls it quits, non-hip-hop-fan hip-hop fans "fucking shocked!"

J5 made my 1999-2000 much more enjoyable. It's unfortunate that they were the subject of a hostile takeover by a venture capital group fronted by Dave Matthews and subsidary Bob Marley Enterprises, LLC. They became synonymous with dilettante rap fans and also entirely inescapeable. A google search for J5 actually turns up pictures of that fiddler dude Boyd Tinsley.

J5 had their time- they had fantastic production and emcees who were competent and pleasant if inoffensive. But as went backpack rap, so went J5... into antiquity...and now, five years later, they have apparently broken up. It's like a little bit of 1999 just died inside me (no Prince). But fear not, since J5 are (were?) the Eagles of rap, we have only about a decade to hold out before the Hell Freezes Over the Concrete Schoolyard reunion, broadcast live on VH1.2 "The Deuce."

Questions for classroom discussion:

-Does this mean Chali 2na will have time to work with Ozomatli again? He spent a lot of time writing nice rhymes for them only to take them out at inopportune times, pretending they were "freestyles" (see: Sway & King Tech's Wake Up Show Vol. 1).

-Who gets to keep that turntable made out of a tree stump?

-Does this mean that Power in Numbers was just a clever name instead of a statement of principles?

-Who will stand up now to tell the adult alternative and college crowds about the dangers posed by Shiny Suit Syndrome?

A nation yearns for a simpler time

I found this news out rather circuitously. Rizoh posted about it this morning, he heard it announced by J5 on the BBC but apparently the news had leaked in late February but nobody noticed.

As a fitting postmortem, here is an MS Paint J5 logo made by a French website when they couldn't find a real one for their record review:

I think that about sums it up.

Edit: I guess J5 and Dave Matthews Band made a track together. OK, that explains/confirms a lot of what I just said.

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Change gon' come

Manny Ramirez: cornfield tourist, spring trainee

Congratulations to our partners in guilt/potatoes/red hair/corned beef, the Irish for another seamlessly sloppy St. Pat's Day. Our holidays never prompt any nationwide celebration, just feigned interest about matzo, blood libels and numbers of presents.

But the reason I'm feelin' good has nothing to do with smooth, heady draught stout, it's all about the other seasonal diversions- the NCAA tournament (4th in my pool), the tightening NHL playoff races, Spring Training and the restrained tease of titty weather as it gives the east coast two-day teasers before providing ample reason for them boobies (no Rick Ross) to hibernate another day.

For some reason, spring birthday folk like myself all seem to share the same sentiment.

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Fog machines and laser rays

Tastemakers that we are, I figure it's time that we get back into our habit of letting our small but influential readership know how they should be spending their hard earned dollars on entertainments. We used to sporadically shout shit out (e.g. our own nights), and our mysterious secret agent friend does it every week on Phawker, but I'd like to make an effort to let all you bols and jawns know what we think is the balls.

So, tonight:

Tech Support f/ Seattle's Terry Radjaw (Out For Stardom)
The Bubble House, 34th and Sansom, West Philly.

Terry Radjaw (get it? Terry Bradshaw?) raps off the dome about how goofy everybody in the place looks. Dude's a Philly ex-pat and he's been opening for big name acts like Talib as they swing through his adopted Seattle. Dock Street beer will be serving specials of their new brew. Properganda and Kenny Raw in the place as always.


Emynd & Bo Bliz w/ Caps & Jones
The M Room, Frankford & Girard, Philly (Fishtown).

Northern Liberties, Mother, Low Budgets, Bugs and Rats
Haus 409, 409 S. 43rd St. @ Pine, West Philly.

For more info about shit going down in Philly, peep our friends at Pound for Pound and 51:51. For all the dirt on West Philly's slammin house-show scene and general Philly DIY goodness, check out DIY Philly's myspace page for a long and comprehensive listing. These links have all been added to our sidebar for your future convenience.

We hope to have some info about shows in Pittsburgh (e.g. the March 24th Masters of Reality jumpoff in Larryville) and NYC (our other areas of interest) appearing sporadically as well. And don't worry, we'll make sure to keep you informed of all the latest Philadelphyinz info.


Friday, March 16, 2007

photoshop on em

It's hard to be mad at Nyckz. Ja Rule's new single is called "Style On Em", a blatant jacking of the self-proclaimed YouTube king's claim to fame. And so Nyckz did what you do when you get disrespected these days: he took it to YouTube.

The diss itself is pretty good, capable punchline shit that easily poops on "Style On Em". But more notable than the raps are the four minutes of extra shit-talking and the "Oh You Mad Cuz I'm Stylin On You" hoodies that he and his whole crew are rockin. As if the rise in ringtone sales and drop in album sales wasn't enough to make the point about the rap-related attention span, note that Nyckz is basically a one-line wonder. For what it's worth, it was the response to that line and few others that got him fame, but "I respect the shooter" is a little moot here; getting sucker punched in a battle is a sign of your indimidation, I guess. Still, with some decent production "oh you mad cuz I'm stylin on you" could have been the keystone for a decent one-hit-wonder similar to Cassidy's "I could sell salt to a slug" that made "I'm A Hustler" a couple years back. But what's done is done and now dude has to trade on the ten seconds of video that made him slightly famous, up to and including stylin on midget ex-rap stars.

This whole situation reminds me of several companies' fights to keep their intellectual property out of the public domain. Unfortunately for Nyckz, he's more TiVo than Photoshop; a small-timer with a good idea big enough to overshadow its creator. Stylin on dudes is generic enough to become apocraphyl in little or no time, even if Ja Rule's track doesn't do shit. As if to prove the point, "Style On Em" is as much Capo Status as it is Nyckz ("STYLIN!"), but Jimmy doesn't begin and end with "We Fly High".

It's also a little depressing to hear Nyckz rambling on about all the media outlets that covered "oh you mad". He simultaneously devalues himself and every single establishment that dapped him. The only thing worse than being the "King of YouTube" is being the legitimate, billion-dollar corporate media entity (or two-stack hip-hop website run out your mom's basement) that avidly covers his royal highness. His decree? Another reminder that in this day and age fame is surprisingly attainable and utterly meaningless.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Foldin symmetrical

It's been a while since I've heard a mixtape that got me real excited (no Bol). U-Turn, of One Day Later from Vancouver has reposted his Body Work Vol. 1 Tape from 2006. Frankly, I think I like it so much because it really covers the electro/dicso/funk component of my sets and mixtape game over the past 12 months. So, as you are cooling your heels waiting for the epic Philadelphyinz tape to drop (which also contains Body Work by Hot Streak, but more than the 2 bars in this tape), peep this.

The tracklisting is found here.

The embedded player is below (duh).

-By the way, does anybody else (besides Gerard) get the sense that SXSW was just invented for bloggers and the bands they broke to sit around and


the fuck


for a couple of days?

Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm stuck at work, but maybe I have that pathological Groucho Marx thing like "I don't want to be a part of any group that'll have me as a member."


Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Deeper than a mermaid

Internet (read: baby goat) goin nutz:

-I'm kind of double-posting here, but I want to reiterate- Skinny has a fine interview withthe one and only El-Producto over at Gat. If you haven't read it yet, do so immediately before continuing. He's also got a bunch of photos of stuff that he did recently, if you're into that kind of thing.

-There's a new piece by "a drug-crazed former jai-alai star" friend of ours over at which features a short bit of interview with RJD2 about how he's getting hated on for switching over to the singer-songwriter side of things.

-Lastly, we're about to bring a new member on board here at JS2000. I don't know if he's gonna want to roll with a pseudonym or not, so he'll remain nameless until his grand appearance. Let it be known he plans to write about "football, beer and rap." He'll fit in quite nicely.

-Double lastly, it's a graphical dissertation on This Is Why I'm Hot by Rob Harvilla the Village Voice- a great piece and a kind of distillation of our Rap Scientist ethos. For example, I always prefer to think of Nas as a box-and-whiskers plot kind of on the bimodal side of things, whereas Skinny tends to think he's more like the graph of logarithmic bacterial growth in an isolated medium. But all this pales in comparison to our upcoming interview with one of Rap Science's best kept secrets out of MIT. Did I mention I have a nerd blog?

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cuz you not

I had a few words with El-P last week and now you can read them over at Can I Bring My Gat. We mostly talked about how dude fits into the current musical climate, and whether or not he cares. He also says there will be no sophomore Can Ox album, which made me tear up like a little bitch.

I saw buckwild Norweigans 120 Days and buckwild Canadians Shout Out Out Out Out, as well as those adorable Brits The Pipettes. And P-Yinz got down as always.

Pix over here:
120 Days and Shout Out Out Out Out, Southpaw 3/9/07
Philadelphyinz, Medusa 3/10/07
The Pipettes, Luna Lounge 3/11/07

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Fuck you Thanks for not stealing, Kansas City

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just...left...the building

Penguins reach arena deal!

The details aren't all on the table, but let's hope it's a good deal for the Penguins, the City and the Hill.

Previously: Fish, save Pittsburgh any way you can

Edit: Perhaps the title of this post is a little too harsh, because I just went over to the KC Penguins message board and everybody there is taking it very well and congratulating Pens fans on their save. Case in point:
Congrats to the Penguins fans of the wonderful city of Pittsburgh. Your gov't officials came through with that 11th hour save. Here's to the future of your franchise where they belong, in Pittsburgh.
Super Pens Fan
My first impulse is to say something jestfully insulting...while crossing the street against a light and bitching about city government. I guess I'm just a dickhead East Coaster.

[MyKCPenguins: Pens are staying thread]

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Your first general order

If you don't know about my good West Philly poker/ baseball/ potluck/ basement show buddies Dr. Dog, I suggest you get acquainted, because they are one of the best rock acts to emerge nationally in the past year. Yesterday I received a transmission. Sayeth Zach:
Hello everyone,
My band Dr. Dog will be playing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien this Monday, March 12. (Technically Tuesday, but just wake up on Monday and don't go to sleep until you've watched the show.) You can impress your friends by saying oh, yeah, I know that guy.
Anyhow, wish me luck.
That's all for now.
First, if you noticed, this post serves as my "impress your friends by saying oh, yea, I know that guy." But honestly, if there was ever a group of guys more deserving of stardom, I wanna know. "My band Dr. Dog." Damn straight and best of luck indeed. Make sure you watch, although I can't promise it will be better than the epic Dr. Dog/ Apt One double-bill at 409 in '05.

If you miss it, I think NBC's Conan site might have archive video, although I couldn't find it at first pass.

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Friday, March 09, 2007

sweet dreams

I just put up a few hundred words about Petey Pablo (and his new (??) single (??)) over at Can I Bring My Gat. As I note over there, a search for "Petey Pablo" on Flickr brings up a bunch of dogs and cats.

I mention The Trackboyz in the post, and in lookin for their website, I found this crazy article by a dude who interviewed the Trackboyz then got jumped outside the studio by some kids who thought he got beats from them.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Fish, save Pittsburgh any way you can

As of this writing, it remains unclear what will happen to the Pittsburgh Penguins. Will they move to Kansas City or Vegas or will they stay in Pittsburgh, where they won two Stanley Cups and legions of devoted fans who pack the Civic Arena to its rafters year in and year out? I want to clarify that I am among the biggest hockey fans I know. I have a framed copy of the newspaper from May 26, 1991 (my birthday) hanging above my mantle, Lemieux grinning with Lord Stanley. I know that Jaromir Jagr spells Mario Jr., I know that Jim Kyte was deaf and Jim Paek was the first Korean player in the NHL. I remember when Billy Tibbetts punched Darcy Hordichuck in the bench, I remember Kevin Stevens falling face first on the ice in Game 7 of the 1993 Islanders series. I used to listen to Mike Lange as I fell asleep, the names Chris Tamer and Zarley Zalapsky sound like "Sandman" to my ears. However, I have to divorce my emotions from this whole mess and really think about it in a broader perspective.

The Penguins had to declare that they were "seriously looking at other offers" in order to be taken seriously at the negotiating table, and Governor Rendell, Mayor Ravenstahl and Commissioner Onorato are now forced to play hardball if they weren't before. However, this current debacle is the product of numerous problems created by Pittsburgh politicians from times past1, but more importantly by the urban-suburban stratification of our society today. The conflicts do not reflect the actual tensions. It's not Penguins versus Pittsburgh or Pittsburgh versus Kansas City. It's a misdirected confrontation between Pittsburgh and its suburbs and American urban areas in general against their suburbs.

This is a collective action problem. Like any major business, the Penguins are bargaining with the City over issues of civic pride and jobs. Who doesn't want a major, visible entity in their city? Much like the tax abatements that the City has doled out to major companies, as soon as the governmental charity is over (tax abatement expires or arena gets old), the team or business threatens to bail, holding the City hostage until it opens its pockets to build more or give more. I'm not demanding that Philadelphia build me a new house because I'm such a nice guy and people in Philly like me, why should the Penguins be able to extort the government for comfy environs? The reason is this: Kansas City is willing to compete with Pittsburgh for the civic boost they get from a pro sports franchise. But who is Pittsburgh's adversary? Is it Kansas City?

The modern urban center is naturally antagonistic with it's suburbs. Pittsburgh, just years out of an extremely dire financial crisis, has a massive suburban metro area which is outcompeting the city for retail jobs, sending commuters in to degrade the highways built for their convenience over neighborhoods like the Hill District. They work in the offices built with City tax breaks and they go to Steelers games at a stadium built on what was then my dime. They pay a scant fee in occupation tax. That's it. We've known for a while that this arrangement hurts cities, and Pittsburgh has been actively trying to consolidate resources with the county, despite opposition from suburbanites, who like their freeloading arrangement. I've been to Kansas City, and they certainly have the same problem, but they are willing to be suckers for the "pride" associated with getting screwed when their arena gets old. This is a collective action problem- but cities are in such trouble individually that they cannot afford to act collectively.

I love the Penguins, if they move to Kansas City, I will be more upset than I was when Francisco Cabrera knocked Sid Bream home. But- and it really, really pains me to say it- the day they leave will probably be a good day for the City of Pittsburgh. The City missed several great chances to build an arena- the stadium binge of 6 or 7 years ago and then again with the casinos. It might be too late. There are plenty of great cities without pro hockey teams. Portland doesn't have one, Seattle doesn't have one. Those two are doing great, and Seattle told the Sonics they didn't have time to play blackmail and told them to get lost.

As a sports fan it hurts. But sports franchises are not interested in repaying their fans for loyalty. Ask anybody from Cleveland or Baltimore about that one. Sports franchises play with their fans' emotions and their dreams, sucking up the money until something better comes along. Mario Lemieux, who I hold in as high an esteem as the Rooneys, is hopefully just doing what he has to in order to keep the Pens where they belong and where they are loved. Maybe the new majority owners don't have the same sentimentality has he does. But Pittsburgh gets shit on enough by everybody else, and we just say "Fuck You." Isn't it time we prepare ourselves to say the same if some Corporation wants to take our already fragile (but proud) City for a ride?


1: An arena serves the City much better than a football stadium. You can put 41 hockey games, dozens of basketball games, conventions, concerts, tractor pulls and graduations in an arena. You can put 13-16 football games in Heinz Field. After the stadium initiative was voted down, Mayor Murphy said fuck it and built them anyway. I can see the need for a new baseball stadium, but do you really think the Steelers would have left Pittsburgh if we had merely asked Pitt to hold off on tearing down Pitt Stadium while Three Rivers was remodeled with Sky Boxes over the course of a year or two?

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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

It's that real doo doo

yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip

I've been waiting on Devin The Dude since Just Tryin ta Live, which turned 2003 upside down for me. Doobie Ashtray and I-Hi are still super classic and fresh at the same time. Dude is brilliant and easily one of my top ten favorite rappers. And he sings!

The Rap Up is all over the new shit. When the album drops- buy it! You won't regret it. I'm seldom, if ever, this exuberant about anything, so I'll say no more. Just listen.

Devin the Dude f. Andre 3000 & Snoop- What a Job (zshare from therapup)

P.S. New piece by "some bol" over at

P.P.S. Apt One @ Sal's w/ Broadzilla Thursday night. 12th and Walnut Streets, Philly.

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Ol' timey, new timey

For as long as I can remember, watching sports with my father required coming up with an All-Name Team at some point. For example, the All-Charles starting five would probably be:

F: Charles Barkley
F: Charles Oakley
F: Charles Smith
G: Charlie Ward
G: Chuck Connors (yeah, the actor- look it up)

Bench: Chuck Person, Charlie Villanueva, Chucky Atkins
Coach: Chuck Daly
Shoes: Chuck Taylor
National Anthem: Ray Charles

Usually we try to figure out all the different ways one could spell Antwaan (Antoine, Antawn etc.,) or Dwayne (Duane, Dewayne Dwhaenne) or other such spellingistically challenging names. Basketball was usually the easiest, although baseball teams were workable too. In baseball, everybody used to have a name like Dingaling Wagon McGee or some such. For example, the All-Nickname team:

C: Yogi Berra
1B: Bow Wow Arft
2B: Smush Parker (ok, not really, but I couldn't think of anything)
3B: Pie Traynor
SS: Rabbit Maranville
OF: Ginger Beaumont
OF: Duke Snider
OF: Babe Ruth
P: Oil Can Boyd

In case you were wondering, there is a SABRmetric breakdown of goofy nicknames by position. "Red" kind of runs shit except at pitcher, where everybody is named "Lefty." God knows why.

Recently, I was made aware of a blog called Name Of The Year, where they just collect funny sports names and then arbitrarily judge them in a 64-name bracket every March. This year's bracket includes some tough teams, including number 1 seed Dick Dong Wang out of the Crotchtangle Regional and potential darkhorse Damon Cabbagestalk Jr., an 8 seed in the Bulltron Regional. This is probably the greatest thing ever that I should have thought of but didn't.

[NOTY: The Big Dance (Includes Printable Bracket)]

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Monday, March 05, 2007

San D Kold Facts

Meet Jason Hirsh.

Pitcher, Colorado Rockies.
6 foot 8 inches, 250 lbs.
98 MPH 4-seam fastball.
One of Baseball America's 50 top prospects.
2005 Texas League Pitcher of the Year.
2006 Pacific Coast League Pitcher of the Year for AAA Round Rock (13-2, 2.10 ERA, 118K, .193 BAA).

[MLB Trade Rumors: Interview w/ Jason Hirsh]
[Brothers in Arms]
[Wikipedia: Jason Hirsh]

Wait... 6'8" and Jewish. There must be some mistake.

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Television thizz face

Got dem internets:

-This is kind of an unusual one: for all you Canadians (and chick-lit afficianados) out there- here's a short story about a Zamboni and a lost engagement ring. (From the always excellent OnFrozenBlog)

-Byron Crawford is the closest rap-blogging gets to cable news punditry, but that guarantees that it's always worth a read, even if it's only designed to be incindiary.

On to some youtubing:

-Speaking of punditry, I bet you've seen it, but if you haven't- Ann Coulter calls John Edwards a "faggot":

If Edwards was a real person instead of a politician, he would respond with something that involves the word "hatefuck."

-The Oakland A's mascot Stomper got his Vans on but they look like sneakers goin' all dumb on some 1800. He'd toss you a thizz face but his face doesn't actually move (Seen via AOL Fanhouse):

But this isn't a spur of the moment kind of thing, he's serious:

Whoa. But can he Wu-Tang better than the Philly Phanatic?

On a related note, I was at the Sixers game on Friday (Andre Igoudala is the truth) and I realized that the Sixers mascot is a bunny in a wave cap and shades named Hip Hop. Hip Hop? Seriously? Does he actually have waves he needs to keep fresh? Why not name him Prog Rock? "Let's everybody give it up for the Sixer Dance Team and Mathcore!!"


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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Exclusive turbosayin

Tom Breihan has weighed in on the Scott Storch/ Timbaland feud-slash-comedy-routine and notes a fact that we neglected to mention the other day in our leaked memo: Scott Storch cannot rap and he made a dis track. The first line of his rapping career rhymes "piano man" with "billion." I guess Timbo isn't exactly the best producer on the mic either, but then again the phrase "best producer on the mic" has a "saddest clown in the circus" kind of implication to it.

Anyway, that's not the big story. The big story is that yours truly, Mr. GentleWhoadie9000 has remixed Timbaland's Give It To Me and you can hear it first and cop it first here:

Timbaland- Give It To Me f. Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake (Apt One's Legion Remix)

For DJs who may want it at higher quality- holler.

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