Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cher is not art



Oscar Goodman is probably my favorite shitty mayor and my (second) favorite shitty Haverford College Alum. He used to be number three, but J. Howard Marshall's cartoon slampiece Anna Nicole bought the farm recently, essentially killing Marshall himself, who had lived on for years in her prostheses (science dude, science). Goodman, who is the CEO and party host of Las Vegas used to be a mob lawyer, defending Little Nicky, Meyer Lansky and others. Now he's a professional quote machine and bona fide insane person.

This past weekend he dropped the following jewel:
I don't want to see some gangbangers or hip-hoppers knocking over a jewelry store at Fashion Show mall.
A quick lesson in semantics here- gangbangers means black people and hip-hoppers also means black people but it could also mean Paul Wall or VIP.

And yes, please take a minute to imagine VIP at All-Star weekend (no yes John Amaechi)...Now continue reading.

I was in Las Vegas on Sunday (granted it was just the airport) and yes, there were some black people there. Fortunately, they were de-hip-hopped and dipped in bleach at security so shit was all settled.



What Goodman neglected to plan for were black people (or VIP) to rich to care about knocking over a jewelry store. Oops! Goodman, with his history of mob-related barristry (is that a word?) probably should have known that rich people have a tendency to be way way shittier than broke people. This applies doubly to drunk rich people and tripply to Pacman Jones. Pacman apparently hasn't learned to behave himself in the company of feuding, image-conscious reactionaries with access to firearms. You live, you learn.

By the way, my favorite Goodman quote from times past:

On graffiti writers:
You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it...I'm saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb"
What Goodman deftly parries in that one is the fact that Las Vegas is a sprawling monstrosity eating massive tracts of desert land, surviving only through the flooding of some of the world's most picturesque canyonlands. Off with their thumbs!

[Wikipedia: Oscar Goodman]
[The Big Lead: Pacman Jones may need timeout again]

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