Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Take your helmet off, show your...

Super Bowl Media day is like the Las Vegas of days, if you're a football player and you experience time as more of a spatial dimension. There are highs and lows and stupid things and funny things and Gilbert Gottfried and odd questions from undercover marketers from Irish Spring.

But what would WE ask?

Tony Dungy
What's it feel like to be the first black head coach to look like Herm Edwards?

Lovie Smith
If I told you i know how to make a spear pit out of the toilet stall at the Chicago Sun-Times, would you ask me how?

Dallas Clark
Who the fuck made up your name?

Robbie Gould
Do you think your Dad went to his grave troubled by unresolved questions he had regarding the explosive post-Pleiocene speciation? What do you think about before a big kick?

Marvin Harrison
How did you avoid being a locker room cancer when you played with Donovan McNabb at Syracuse?

Rex Grossman
My grandma once told me "glat kosher is bullshit." Is that true?

Joseph Addai
What's your favorite gang from the Warriors?

Tank Johnson
Is it a misnomer to call a car an "Isuzu Jeep?"

Jeff Saturday
What was it like recording with DJ Drama?

Cedric Benson
How much money do you get every time I hear "Breezin'" in the supermarket?

Nick Harper

Do you think that your relationship with Ben Roethlisberger bears a lot of parallels to the Mexican indie film Amores Perros, only with motorcycles instead of cars and no dog fighting?

Ricky Manning Jr.
Now that you're in the Super Bowl, you think they'll stop referring to you as just "Ricky Manning's kid?"

Ben Utecht
As the son of an art-supplies magnate, did you ever consider going into the family business instead of risking it in football?

Muhsin Muhammad
How has it been reconnecting with your Polish heritage in Chicago?

Jim Irsay
Could you comment on the significance of your father dying before Art Modell?

Brian Urlacher

You used to run in some pretty crazy circles. Does the phrase "baby rat" mean anything to you?

Peyton Manning
So how long have you been a black quarterback?

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