Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Who put this thing together? Me, that's who!

Joey Porter handles his fucking business.

I don't have to be the one to explain that multi-millionaire athletes are businessmen. Hines Ward knows it, so woe be it for the Frank White of Pittsburgh sports to ignore the need to lock down the board room (No Jay-Z). He's good at it too. Look how well Peezy kept his house in order this week.

First, Joey demonstrated his Corleone-like grip on his posse when his weed carrier took a dive for some green in Peezy's truck. While this was once standard operating procedure, Michael Irvin's laxity and subsequent rebound let the world know that weed carrying was not a high priority for athlete CEOs. But if Joe Porter was getting suspended for his stash, he wouldn't be able to play with Kellen Winslow's head on the weekends. You got the bol on the payroll, so he best do his job and fall on the sword for Team Porter. Inquiring minds want to know if he's been taking organizational seminars from Theodore Unit. But JP's run for executive of the year doesn't end there.

Your boy weaved carefully between celebrity spear pits by apologizing for calling Kellen Winslow Jr. a "fag," saying "I didn't mean to offend anybody but Kellen Winslow." This is about the best public apology for a PC-related offense I have ever heard. To paraphrase, "I have nothing against homosexuals, but Kellen Winslow is especially sensitive to being called one in a perjorative sense. I am very sorry if I offended the LGBT community by inadvertanty likening them to Kellen Winslow."

This apology was further warranted by the fact that A)It's definitely not cool to go around calling people "fags" to denigrate them and B)Everybody saw Joey Porter's photo spreads for the SI NFL preview (sample here) and heard about his pathological obsession with his "bust down game." It was just a matter of time before somebody said something he couldn't explain away. This was truly shrewd PR move, Peezy managed to make amends for his deviation from social mores while managing to keep his competition squarely underfoot. Posse marketing and PR departments are surely getting a fat Christmas bonus.

[Post Gazette: Joey Porter's weed carrier takes the dive]
[FanHouse: My beef is not with teh gheys, it is with Kellen Winslow]