Thursday, November 30, 2006

Weather underground

Three 6 Mafia, in an admirable show of artistic integrity, has settled out of court (essentially saying "Yeah, you're right) with a teenager from McKeesport. The plaintiff was apparently upset that he had his ass beat by audience members during a performance of "Let's Start A Riot."

As somebody who values personal responsibility, I think he shouldn't have made the mistake of standing "in this bitch" and/or "in this ho" under those circumstances. However, we live in a litigious society. This is a society where getting your fucking face stomped by a whole bunch of pissed off motherfuckers while some gully fools from Memphis perform a song about a mob up and completely putting a foot in your ass because you're a sorry ass litte bitch, that's the kind of thing can get you sued nowadays. Punk ass bitch.

But, like I said, kudos to Three 6 Mafia for not shying away from the fact that the song is about whipping your motherfucking ass in this bitch, and isn't in fact a metaphor for anything else. Most people softball that in a real Fear of a Black Hat kind of way like "Political Unrest Stabilizes Society- Yeah!- P.U.S.S.Y. youknowwhatimsayin?" Not the Three 6, they will hit you with a bat and mean it, artistically.

As an aside, that might be my favorite song on that album.

[Post-Gazette: Hey man, why's there a motherfuckin riot in this ho?]

P.S. Did I mention that there are some biters out there on the internets, swagger jacking our valiant anti-heroes?

say no go

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Nike SB De La Soul dunk high

Some captions write themselves.

We the Easy Mo Bee of the blog game

JS2000 Swagger Jacked!

People's exhibit A, dated 11/28

People's exhibit B, dated 11/29

I admit that they thought about it more than we did, but, you know, sayin.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Jumpin Levan's ghost!

News item: Tonight's HumpDay Party at 409 is apparently cancelled.

But tomorrow, Novermber 30th, the killer string of guests streaming through the Paradise Garage night at Key West...Optimo, Dave's about to get a special Philadelphyinz edition of Paradise featuring DJ Apt One and the dependably badass Mike T. Be prepared for funky disco, electro disco, italo, chi-house, ghettotech and everything in between at the only bar in Philly with a fully mirrored dancefloor, fog machines and bangin light displays.

In other news...

-When the Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News strike, don't buy the scab paper, or Jack London, Billy Bragg, Woody Guthrie and Caesar Chavez will come back from the dead and cut you up. Oh wait, Billy Bragg's not dead, he's just passed out.(Phawker)
Update: Union will be starting competing paper on the internets.

-Alias Philly bols Brendan B and Mike make silly business in Black Card's Dip Dip Fall Back video. (Seen via The Fader)

-Apropos of reppin' Tragos...Slate's Diane McWhorter scares the shit out of me by providing all the legislative analogs between the early, democratic phases of German Nazification and the terror war initiatives of the Bush White House. For example: Blitz vs. Shock and Awe, Dissolving the Reichstag vs. Gaining Presidential War Powers. The parallels aren't always ironclad, and analogy is not a true form of logic, but she does note just how slowly and incrementally Nazification actually happened. That's the frightening part.(Slate)

-Ian Cohen makes the equivalent of a conjugal visit to SexyResults- just long enough to take a shot at Joanna Newsom for spelling fairy with an -ie. And maybe a ph-. Phairie. Chill out Ian, she's from M. Night Sayindawg's The Village. Also, a classic meandering rant about the Clipse etc.,(Sexy Results)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

brace yourself for more variations on "shake it"

Ying Yang Twins - Dangerous (video)

Man the Ying Yang Twins are consistantly a hot mess, so every album they release is like Hannukah for us haters. Fresh actually knows their names. That's amazing.

I'm actually concerned about D-Roc's Ozzfest-ready beard. I guess if raves are back, nu-metal must be around the corner, but I didn't expect it from the ATL.

Bonus: Dave Chapelle on Ying Yang's Cribs appearance

Your parents will take away the choking game

At first we were pretty sure this was a Mighty Ducks-type Sayin, turns out it's more of a Maestro-type Sayin. It was great back when, but now everybody has AIDS and a drug habit. Or neither. But we are not going to skate to victory over Team Iceland, that's for sure. There was a little thread running through the back of my mind since the Jacksonville match. I thought that every time Ben was hurt, he came back one game too fast. Chazzie Batch could have put up 10 points against Jacksonville. A fresh Ben with no Marcus Stroud-inflicted internal bleeding could have pulled out the tight game at Cinci. Let uncle Chazzie take care of the listing Raiders ship and we've got a confident and healthy Ben waiting to get at the Broncos. We're talking 6-4 at least. But we haven't had a healthy and confident Ruthlessburgher on the field at any point this season.

I think the '06 Steelers had a few glaring problems, but as a whole, the team is a solid one which lacks a few small but important pieces. Chatching, that's one. Also standing still before the snap. Also holding the football tightly. And tackling kick returners.

But let's avert our eyes from the smoldering corpse of the 2006 season and let me be the first to man (except Troy) is safe!!!

QB: Ben Ruthlessbingle
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
As hard as it is for me to say it... maybe. Dude won the Super Bowl last year, gotta give him some leeway. However, he's looking like a liability health-wise. Will he last or will he drop his muffler in the middle of the highway? You gotta realize that your boy has been pulling the QB equivalent of putting orange juice in his cereal all fucking year.
Go cop uptown?
If there are any good QBs floating around in the 4th to 6th round, take one. If Troy Smith drops to the second round (which some NFL draft sites are actually sayin), take him. Do not draft Tyler Palko.

RB: Willie Parker
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Probably. He's fast, but he can be a liability when you absolutely have to have manageable second downs. Keep in mind that the Steelers are only 17th in the leage in rushing yards per game as of today with about 108.
Go cop uptown?
Probably not, but a bigger back would be helpful to have around (No offense Najeh). Maybe Michael Bush?

FB: Kreider
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Go cop uptown?

WR: Hines Wardie, Cedric Wilson, Nate Washington, Santonio

Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
No. Stop dropping shit Santonio. The Steelers thought they could lose Burress and El the same way they though they could lose Kirkland, Brown and Greene years ago. Cultivating receiving talent has always been a Cowher weakness. Also, there's a break on Nate Washington's LP.
Go cop uptown?
Get a free agent. Rookie receivers are not where it's at.

TE: Heath Miller
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Sure. But it could also be the motherfuckin greatest. Tuman, you OK too.
Go cop uptown?
Nope. Did that last year.

O-Line: Faneca, Hartings, Simmons, Starks, Smith
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
No fucking way. As the line goes, so goes the team. The pass protection this year has been abysmal, although some of that blame surely goes to the receivers, who couldn't find an opening if they were knee deep in whores.
Go cop uptown?
This is a priority area. Probably first round. If we lose another couple of easy games, maybe we can get Joe Thomas out of Wisconsin. Joe Thomas is the Bob Saget of blocking and the Dwight Eisenhower of eating.

Kicking game: Gardocki, Reed
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Go cop uptown?
Two lagers for Jeff.

Other special teams
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Fuck no.
Go cop uptown?
All those dudes are fired.

D-Line: Smith, Keisel, Hampton
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Sometimes. I didn't hear Aaron Smith's name get called very much this year. Then again, I turned off most of the games about midway through the 3rd quarter.
Go cop uptown?
Probably not, Hoke is still kickin it. Hampton still looks like he's made out of boulders.

LB: Porter, Farrior, Haggans, Foote
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
It pains me to say this but no, Wu-Tang is not for the children. We need some more undersized college defensive ends to get ready to replace these guys. Three years is a long time for any corps of linebackers to be together- Porter and Farrior aren't spring chickens anymore and Haggans is pushing 30.
Go cop uptown?
Yes. Michigan's Woodley would be a viable first round pick, as would homer H.B. Blades. James Harrison might also be a candidate to step in next year as a starter. Also, draft some crazy juice for Peezy.

Safties: Troy Troy, Logan, Carter

Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Some of them.
Go cop uptown?
Yes. A safety would make a good middle round pick. Also, I have it from a good source that Troy's mom is completely appalled at how much money him and his shortie (who comes from money, while Troy is frugal and chaste) are willing to spend on DelMonico steaks at Whole Foods. I also have it from a good source that some strippers from Braddock slept with Kool Keith and stole his drivers lisense and pants to sell on eBay. What do you have to say about that, Cowher?

Corners: McFadden, Ike, Deshea
Is Wu-Tang for the Children?
Truth be told, it never was.
Go cop uptown?
This is what the Steelers need in the second round. Drafting a CB in the first round is almost never worth it, because they usually fall towards the 2nd or 3rd round until anybody takes them. I firmly believe that a big, fast corner is a necessity for any team. Receivers are just too large these days.

So now I ask you, gentle reader to tell us in the comments section, "Is Bill Cowher's Wu-Tang strong enough?"

deja vu

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Monday, November 27, 2006

colors, colors, colors, colors

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Lil Wyte f/ DJ Paul - Icey White Soljas

Let's all welcome Dan Charnas back to the blogosphere. His response to the Michael Richards situation is on point. I like his discussion of Seinfeld's monochrome culture, an idea which sums up many thoughts I've been trying to put together for a while now. It's the latest incarnation of the great American race problem, the next step beyond people that make "I'm not racist, but..." statements. About on par with indie rock heads who want to make it a point that they listen to Hell Hath No any rap at all. (Just kiddin 2000!!!)

But I don't entirely agree with this:

I’m sure that Michael Richards doesn’t believe he is a racist. I’m sure, on an intellectual level, believes in equal rights for all. But we never find the truth until we get cornered. When Black folks are pushing his buttons, Richards’ response, apparently, is to tell Black people they have no right to push his buttons because they’re Black. That is the very definition of deep-seated, latent racism. Sorry.

I told Milo that "racism" seems too blunt a descriptor for what's going on. It's not like Richards's outburst betrayed a secret Klan affiliation or bank transfers to the National Front. This is the unpleasant realization that, despite whatever his rational mind may support in terms of equal rights for all people, black people still apparently make him uncomfortable. It doesn't seem fair to apply the same word to the dude that one would use for Mark Fuhrman. After all, it's not necessarily the fault of any person feeling this way that they aren't steeped in black culture; going out and explicitly trying to do so has its own set of racial issues. Though it's not easy to convince true racists that they're wrong to, say, support segregation, it's pretty fucking straightforward to make the case for equality. Cultural understanding, on the other hand, is more problematic.

Cronkite sayin

I apologize to our loyal, paying readership for my absence from this here weblog ("blog"). I'm making sure the Cuban PRESPYs (People's Revolutionary ESPYs) go off without a hitch this coming weekend. Lot's of judo blooper reels to edit. I also need to get new brakes for my dune buggy. I'm busy. But pretty soon, I'll be in position to say "don't call it a comeback" when its, you know, a comeback.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

exactly how one gets it 4 cheap

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Shouts to the ever vigilant Jeff who points out that the general consensus on Hell Hath No Fury is pretty much in line with my own. That makes me feel a little better about not loving it.

The rise of blog-rap has been both a blessing and a curse. I'm not talking about the rap blogs whose savvy (even Different Kitchen Ian's awesomely Seinfeld-esque "these southern rappers are so crazy!" blurbs from a couple years ago, no Kramer) has allowed them to replace more traditional print outlets as the best place for rap news. I'm talking about the more analytical dudes who introduced no shortage of previously RAWKUS ONLY dudes to the wonderfully idiosyncratic rappers which we all slept on. My rap world view used to be like the rap section at The Sound Library, which was separated into all five boroughs, Long Island, Connecticut, "South" and "West". The so-called "Sean Fennessey-types" brought a whole new light to previous punchlines like Project Pat and Lil Wayne, who many of us were damn fools for sleeping on.


The unintended consequence is that this same movement spilled over into the rest of the music blogosphere, and now it feels like Lil Wayne and Jeezy are just staples in the promotional echo chamber, every move being amplified right next to Wolfmother and Grizzly Bear. This doesn't matter so much for those two, as the bulk of the copies of Dedication and Trap Or Die probably didn't go to frequent American Apparel shoppers. But Clipse made the Cheap tapes *because* they lacked a promotional scaffolding; Pusha and Mal were too far north to be in on the southern tour circuit, but too far south to get into the New York mixtape game. I don't doubt that Re-Up has a huge fanbase, but the attention that the tapes got on Pitchfork and sites like it were not negligable in the group's resurgence.

This post was inspired by Tara Henley's inane take on Hell Hath, full of hard-hitting analysis like:

If The Wire was a rap album instead of a television show, Hell Hath No Fury is what it would sound like. With HHNF, the Clipse do for crack rap what The Wire did for crime dramas.

REALLY?? Tara's usually better than this, but there's nothing but talking points here, and this is the kind of blather that's going to fill the internets in the coming weeks as the downloading continues. Reading Pitchfork's take on "Trill", one gets the sense that the album's release is as exciting as the contents of the track. I'm worried the new critical uni-brain is going to celebrate Hell Hath No Fury's release like a neurobiology lab celebrates publishing a paper in Nature.

I'm not trying to claim any inherent higher ground. I would be lying if I said I was ahead of the curve about Clipse. I bought Lord Willing because I found the vinyl for five bills and I needed the singles that weren't "Grindin". At the time, I kind of wrote off their success as a Neptunes beat scholarship. Then they disappeared for like two years. I only picked up We Got It 4 Cheap Vol. 2 after my brother literally found it on the street in Houston (literally, lying on the street), and his comment was literally "hey, remember the Clipse?"

But I'm sayin, I've at least heard "Shook Ones."

Bonus question: what does it say about the album that it includes a ten-year-old Pulp Fiction quote, but also references Maria Full Of Grace?

Monday, November 20, 2006

congratulations scrapple dun dun

Ryan Howard wins the MVP.

Let's get the dude a nickname, then maybe he can host a mixtape with Beans.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

shark bloggers (biters)

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They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. Anyways, back to the grind.

I get money, be quiet

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So many different things make him trill.

Jim Jones f/ Jha Jha and Princess (of Crime Mob) - Get It Poppin
Kidz in tha Hall - Wheelz Fall Off ('06 Til...)
Kidz in tha Hall - Cruise Control

Robert Gates doesn't have to do much to make a big difference in our Iraq policy. Rumsfeld's head was so far up his ass that every single move he made was detrimental to American interests. If Gates shows up and just naps all day in between press conferences, he'll be an improvement. This is more or less why the new Jim Jones joint is actually pretty good.

I have to write up the album for PopMatters, so I'm not gonna say much here. But I will bless the world with "Get It Poppin", which more or less confirms that "Knuck If You Buck" wasn't a fluke. Jimmy and Jha Jha whatever, Princess drops some gully-ass bars that fit the beat's dirty bells perfectly. One of those "yo who was that?" flows. Maybe I should have checked out Crime Mob's album. (Did they even have one?) Also, Juelz jumps on two songs ("Pin the Tail" and "Emotionless"), and it's clear dude's been spending some time around Weezy F Baby, if Santana's quote that titles this post is any indication.


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Lowered expectations also help out the Kidz in the Hall album, School Was My Hustle. There was no reason to not assume the worst here. This was a brilliant move by Rawkus, choosing an Ivy League-educated (from Penn, no less...GW9K, tell em why you mad!) old style DJ/MC combo to fuel their resurgence. After all, nothing pleases the coffee house chicks and white dudes quite like smart rappers who trade in calling out other rappers for being dumb. Add in yet another "93 Til Infinity" cover, and they had me thinking this was just gonna be some real tepid shit.

Instead, School Was My Hustle sounds exactly like what Rawkus Records should be putting out in 2006. MC Naledge is from Chicago, and it's easy to hear touches of Kanye and Lupe in his flow. He's not really an outright bite of either one, but he's your average modern-day rapper with a notable Chi-town influence. DJ Double-O has that intangible power which allows him to make pretty simple combinations of drum and loop into captivating tracks. And "06 Til..." is more a nod to the Souls than some male groupie shit. Mad respectful. School is also staunchly aimed at the elusive minority middle class, most overtly in the Too $hort-inspired "Dumbass Tales", about dudes who sold dope even though they didn't have to. "Cruise Control" just bangs, at like 110 bpm no less. Fit it in between "New Jack Hustler" and "Know the Ledge" "Ghost Is Back".


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Hell Hath No Fury (aka the gangsta rap Yankee Hotel Foxtrot) finally leaked, and I can't decide if it's really not that good or if it's just being crushed under unreasonably high expectations. There's something hollow-sounding about half the beats. Chad and Pharrell used to have that this-might-not-be-finished-but-who-cares vibe all the time, and it's a big part of why "Grindin" was so brilliant. But the weird beats really do sound out of place next to ginormous finished products like "Wamp Wamp" and "Mr. Me Too". And Pusha and Mal sound strangely apologetic. We want heartless kingpins, dammit, not reconciliation and love songs about the youth!

Regardless, "Trill" is probably the best track on Hell Hath. "Sell Bolivian / Feds in oblivion / bitch Brazilian / her purse reptilian..." I'M SAYIN IN A MAJOR WAY.

(And yo, how are you gonna listen to Clipse and still want "the Decemberists' The Crane Wife (on vinyl!)". And bad looks for basically saying "we don't have an opinion, but we will mock someone else's.")



-"Is you child a tagger?"

-Interview with Donovan Ryan
He's the world's foremost expert in obscene rare sports cards. Them Billy Ripkin jawns, nahmean?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Of fraggles and doozers

As many of you may already know, legendary University of Michigan football coach, U of M AD and former Detroit Tigers president Bo Schembechler died late this morning. We try to make a point of avoiding "news" coverage here at JS2000, so we'll leave the reporting at that.

The fact that Bo Schembechler died on the eve of a surely memorable chapter in UM-OSU lore is both sad and poignant, but it has brought out a softer side of the Rivalry which, up until now, had received attention only for its ferocity. Much like the Christmas Truce of 1914, both sides have emerged from their shell-pocked trenches and exchanged gestures of respect, sympathy and cameraderie. The comments section of the highly partisan Columbus Dispatch is full of heartfelt thank-yous for battles, won or lost. Even the hardest and most soldierly recognize the importance of the enemy as the demagogue's muse.

I was rather young when Schembechler stopped coaching the Wolverines, but I will always remember eating an entire bag of Fritos during the 1989 Rose Bowl (his last game as coach) and throwing up all over the bathroom floor. Bo Schembechler, one more departure from the generation of hard-assed sons of a bitches, molders of men of character.

[Columbus Dispatch: OSU fans say Schembechler sippin God-juice with Woody now]

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fyre and sworde

Noixe is currently working to bless us with some chocolaty goodness about album sales, lobster bisque and neo-classical economics. But to tide you over, let me direct our fine imaginary friends to a discussion on Slate today which made a much more coherent effort than me to describe just what it is about U of M versus OSU that makes old ladies shutter the windows like a storm is afoot.

[Slate: Goddamn it, our militia won the Toledo War!]

P.S. Did you know that U of M is giving up 30 yards rushing per game this year? Nuts!

Shame on a nuh

I totally forgot. But then again, I forgot my mom's birthday once too (Holy shit was she mad.). I'm getting better. Next year I'll remember.

Russell "Ol' Dirty Bastard" Jones
Dirt McGirt
Big Baby Jesus.

November 15, 1968- November 13, 2004.

So, happy birthday and happy (?) yartzeit to Dirty from all here at JS2000.

(Cartoon from

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

In ancient times, the losers were enslaved

There was a time when men were men, when people wore their pants at the proper belt line, when hobos ate only canned beans. This was a time when life was simple. It was in these halcyon days that burly dudes with names like Harmon wore leather hats and ran each other over on chilly midwestern Saturdays. Before Robocop, before Kucinich, before the hash bash, before Jesse Owens took it to the Krauts and before women got all uppity about careers and such, there was Michigan versus Ohio State.

In 1973 both teams entered the game undefeated. They tied and Ohio State won the Big Ten championship in a secret ballot. In 1969, 1993, 1995 and 1996 the Wolverines dealt OSU their first loss. Michigan has won 11 national titles and 42 Big Ten titles. Ohio State has won 7 and 30. It is a rivalry recognized as monumental in its regular importance because of the huge benefits bestowed upon the winner and the devestation which angries the loser's blood for a year. Until 1975, Big Ten teams either got roses or got dirt. The stakes stoke the flames.

Usually the rivalry is cordially hard-headed, unlike in other forums where some bitter partisans persist (not here, that's for sure). The Big Ten has always been classy. Classy teams in classy uniforms play in classy stadiums steeped in history and grand architecture befitting of the immensity of the Midwest. This weekend, as the teams meet as #1 versus #2 in Columbus, all of the pageantry and history of Big Ten football will pulse and breathe. It will be a beautiful game.

I can't do this.

You know what, let me tell you something. Ohioans, well, Ohioans they firmly believe in their power, under the 10th Amendment to the Constitution, to be a bunch of worthless shitheads (unless, like Desmond Howard and Elvis Grbac, they go to U of M). And you know what else? You wanna know? Not only that, most of them root for the Browns and the Bengals too, which only compounds the degree to which they subscribe to a subversive blend of indoor kid witchcraft and primitive totemic animism on behalf of the spirit god Ernest Byner. They can go fuck themselves. Except Bootsy Collins, he's cool.

OK. This isn't nice. This isn't classy. Just to bring things back even keel, I'd like to offer that the Ohio Turnpike's new reststops are really nice. I have friends from Ohio. You know, in Europe they got their Hundred Years War and their fancy mustards, but do they have a Ten Years War? No. They also have a Russo-Finnish war, but that's another story. Let me tell you about a crisp autumn afternoon in...You know what, fuck this eloquence. Fuck this writing shit. And Fuck Ohio. See you Saturday.

[Wikipedia: UM-OSU Rivalry History of beatdowns motherfucker]
[Youtube: Woody Hayes punches Clemson player and is a total fucking dick that guy can go fuck himself]
[Youtube: Anthony Carter is the fucking boss]

Scrapple Dun Dun hot stove heater

Philly bloggers fight (about I don't even know what). Sweeney, unshaken, posts about BCO thread (which somehow doesn't involve Neil the prison nazi). Check back later for a post about Philly bloggers having sex.

Only the forces of Gerard and Scrapple Dun Dun can save this town from itself.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

First day on the Somme

Jay-Z is getting absolutely fucking slaughtered out there today. (Get it? First day on the Somme? Look it up.) But seriously, Kingdom Come is getting completely torn to pieces by anybody who has heard it. Principal complaints: beats suck, raps suck. Ouch. Secondary complaints: Jay-Z is rich and out of touch (as Jeff says, "socialite rap"), Jigga is so old that he's irrelevant. Tertiary complaints: The album seems to be the result of a market analysis, focus groups and board meetings. Without even hearing it, I can see the producer-and-guest-driven hubris behind this. Storch, Pharrell, Just Blaze, Chris Martin (?) etc etc- of course it'll sell. Motherfuckers are feeling insulted.

Here's a rundown:
Sickamore (XXL)- "Young Hov's Midlife Crisis"

Byron Crawford ( - "Self-congratulatory claptrap about how successful he is..."

Passion of the Weiss- "Ya Boy is Wack"

So, as you can see, bloggers no like. This probably won't be a strong predictor of success, despite the increasing pop savvyness of the internet literati. I think Jay's rep will carry some strong early sales and any single that uses a "Superfreak" sample is going to move units (how many dumb obvious Puff samples have taken tracks gold?). Besides, it's a singles world, albums are just living in it.

Keep an eye out for noixe's review of Kingdom Come in the upcoming issue of the Riverfront Times in STL. The line in Vegas is 3:1 that he hates it.

P.S. Don't forget about his new mix.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Cold November Sayin

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Fresh new tape! Only two months after I said it'd be done.

It's fall and you need some mopey jams to ring in the cold weather. Bust out your hoodies and your vintage scarves, bump this shit while you wait for the train/bus/trolley and it's drizzling. Or while you're raking leaves, because you still live with your mom.

(More reliable hosting coming soon.)

t-model ford f/ organized noize - death letter
aesop rock - nickel plated nines (inst)
...v. trae - in da hood (acc)
pharell - you can do it too
ratatat - nostrand
...v. jay-z - heart of the city (acc)
z-ro - king of da ghetto
trackademics f/ nchimunya - so high
8ball and mjg - we started this shit (inst)
geto boys - the world is a geto
joe cocker - in the city
allan toussaint - out the city
isaac hayes - joy

shakatak - keep holding on
b-one - verbal affairs (inst)
...v. 2pac - never call u bitch again (acc)
??? - adieu
blend crafters - imagine
blacklicious - 40 oz for breakfast
the jones girls - children of the night
outkast - through da wudz (inst)
...v. supreme - dominoes, cards and chess (acc)
ghostface - clipse of doom
teddybears - alma
gangstarr - jfk2lax
lootpack - lax2jfk

big ups to Dots, Alodie, Tits Kevorkian and Prof. Hanson for the drops.

A crack block is where you turn and crack the guy

-I have to offer a semi-apology to Bucco Blog for introducing them as totally insane by virtue of their support for a Luis Gonzalez signing by the Pirates. I still think that it would be stupid to sign Gonzalez, but I would also like to point out that Bucco Blog is by far the most in depth SABRmetric resource for Pirates fans. As we are getting comfortable and in position for our annual winter bedsores, they are getting busy over there talking about Jose Castillo's zone rating. Damn.

-If you ain't heard yet...Nas feat. Jay-Z, "Black Republicans." Yeah. I have no speakers in right now, so I can only leave it to you, the reader to enjoy the quixotic brilliance that may be contained therein. Links and various tidbits from people who have actually listened to the song are available from The Rap Up, and Notes From a Different Kitchen.

If I'm gonna jock Bucco Blog, I might as well jock DiffKitch too. Guaranteed like 3 posts a day. Quality.

-The Steelers won yesterday. I didn't watch because it wasn't on where I live. I think it was probably better that way.

-Good blog about the planning and policy of the 215 jungle called Skyline Online...Not to leave out one of my longtime favorite Philly photoblogs, PhillySkyline. Check out the photoessay about everybody's favorite creepy landmark of historical and economic metaphoric significance- The Divine Lorraine Hotel and it's restoration and its pre-restoration creepiness.

-I know everybody's asshole still hurts from CMJ, but seriously, fuck you New York, pay me (December 8th is your chance). Sometimes, I wish Gerard were physically violent instead of pussing out at the critical hater moments. Gerard, you my dawg (wolverine?), but enough hedging on the hating.

-Speaking of Wolverines, it's the biggest version of The Game (no, not that Game) since the Buckeyes won their last national championship (on some bullshit pass interference, but whatever). I'm going to just declare right now that I am a devout U of M partisan, and you should not regard my comments as neutral or reasoned unless you catch a "but seriously" in there. Anyway, fuck Ohio State, but check this out:

That, my friends, is the band the Dead Schembechlers. They all dress like Woody Hayes. They have declared this to be "Constant Hate Week" and they are staging rallies where they sing many of their hits, such as "Ann Arbor Girls are Dirty Whores," "Chad Henne is a Motherfucking Joke," "Michigan Stadium is a Pile of Shit" and my personal favorite, "Muck Fichigan." Apparently, Bo knows about all this and had a "holy smokes" to add. Bo also knows about steakhouses. I know I'm a little late to make note of this, but there's really nothing else I can add. Damn.

[Dead Schembechlers myspace (for entertainment purposes only)]
[Cleveland Plain Dealer: Bo Schembechler confronts punk music, leaves befuddled]

Sunday, November 12, 2006

You got you got you got what i need redux

Perhaps this will tide you over until I can get back on my post game.

Can't front, saw this first on The Assimilated Negro.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

dunce-cappin and kazooin

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Pusha T tells ghost stories by the campfire.

So CMJ came and went and I drank a lot of free beer, but not nearly as much as some people. I went to a few shows but, again, not nearly as many as some people. But I did make it to see Clipse, along with Trae, Kidz in the Hall and Jokaman.

Clipse came through the Knitting Factory in March last year. At that point, they were still riding the We Got It 4 Cheap Vol. 2 hype, but given that they were basically giving it away to remind the world they still existed, it's not like Pusha and Mal were living the high life. And even though the critical elite were loving it and the blogosphere had seized on it, those are very intangible victories when you're killing time (and possibly still running crack) in Virginia Beach. So when they came on stage after a lengthy and innocuous set by Cl-Cl-Clinton Sparks (*GET FAMILIAR* *AIRPLANE SOUND*), they looked almost confused--"who are these people and why do they love us?" You could almost see the dudes get revitalized in front of your eyes. Ab-Liva and Sandman were even more floored, almost taken aback by the size of the buzz Re-Up had. Even though the set was short and, honestly, not that good, the show itself was still a great experience.

Eight months later, with two hot singles in steady rotation, with streetwear dudes rocking "fuck jive" shirts after the nth delay of Hell Hath No Fury, ("the most anticipated album of all-time ever"), it was a totally different story. Clipse had the swagger--a word their buzz has all but invented--once they hit the stage. This time they were ready. Even with the huge buzz behind the duo, this show had a target audience (with the CMJ timing and Trae being one of the blog-darlings of the year) which mirrored the cult fans who came out last time. Pusha and Mal still didn't put on the most interactive show, but the call-and-response Re-Up Gang chants were hard to stop once they started. The love was tangible. Whereas the last show had borrowed heavily from Lord Willin, this time they looked only forward (save the obligatory "Grindin"). "Pussy" has become a classic and, I guess, a live staple, despite being a two-year-old lead single to an album that never dropped. Backed by a DAT and a dude with an MPC full of gunshots, especially with the rest of Re-Up on stage, Clipse managed to transfer the work-in-progress mixtape feel of Vol. 2 into a coherant stage show.

Trae was disappointing. Straight up. It was cool to see him live and in person, and he did his thing. But live he doesn't have the gravely whisper that makes him so compelling on record. And he rapped over his own tracks (not instrumentals), which was pretty amazing given one of the promoter's recent tirades against lip-synching. I'm still riding for the dude and for Restless, and I'd see him again if he came through, no question. But the whole set was disjointed and kind of confusing. I was expecting a little more.

I'm gonna review the Kidz in the Hall album later this week, so I'll speak on them. But suffice to say, they are the latest resurrection of Rawkus, and they are exactly what you would think they are. "2006 til Infinity?" Hell naw.

All my pix are here.

Some other notes from the show.
-some dudes rock towels on their shoulders/heads whatever, but Clipse were rocking pink, dingy-lookin dish-towels. huh?

-this dude's miller lite hat and wu all-over print hoodie were too much. we never had a chance!

-big shout out to the dude behind me that was the biggiest, I don't know, live rap fan ever? he was yelling "KICK A FREESTYLE" the entire night and lost his shit for every group that came out. he rapped all the Clipse shit perfectly and Pusha was staring at him like "who are you???"

-I only caught the end of Jokaman's set, but peep his boy's incredible jacket. I like to think he bought 26 jackets, cut them up and sewed them together to make a new one. (pic from Houston So Real)

-everyone put their cell phones up for Trae's "Bitch Quit Callin Me." that was pretty great.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

We can't stop here, this is bat country!

I'm sure you've heard by now that the Democrats took the House, a majority of the Governors' mansions and are on the verge of taking the Senate. And Rumsfeld has resigned. In two years we'll see which side the public blames for the coming acrimony.

OK. Back to the bread and circuses!

For starters, I offer you a sacrificial lamb. The normally level-headed crew over at Bucco Blog has come up with an idea so bad that the Pirates front office should be all over it like Barrington Levy. "[Luis] Gonzalez in LF makes sense." Whoa. Every time the Pirates look like they might be thinking about considering the possibility of maybe turning the corner, there's another also-ran veteran scheme.

Gonzo hasn't hit above .271 in three years, he's 39, and like Joe Randa, Pat Meares, Jeromy Burnitz, Kenny Lofton and others, he'll be eating into the playing time of one of the numerous prospects the Pirates have acquired in high drafts and salary dumps over the last decade. Furthermore, he'll be expensive, because he used to be a star. I've got news- he's not a star anymore. If he was, he wouldn't play in Pittsburgh. Enough of this shit. Develop some players so we can make the playoffs before I fucking die (and then sell them for prospects).

[Bucco Blog: When white rabbit peaks, throw the radio in the tub!]

Now this next one has been cracking me the fuck up all day. It's a two parter.

First, golfer John Daly, who is basically a three toed sloth with two major championships, a farmer's tan and a drinking problem, just divorced his 4th wife. Right after she got out of jail. Oh, he also has a gambling problem, too. Kind of funny, kind of sad.

The second part (the funny part) comes courtesy of something I learned in a Bill Simmons column not too long ago. It's well known in this space that I have no use for Simmons, whose columns read like "[former Red Sox outfielder] is just like [singer in band I don't like] only with a fashion sense like [character from show I don't watch], which the Sports Girl hates because I named my fantasy baseball team after their first album." However, Simmons gets a pass because he stumbled upon a hilarious revelation:

When you play Tiger Woods Golf with Tiger Woods (which Simmons did), Tiger Woods really likes to play as...John Daly. That's right, when the most dominant and most competitive athelete of our time sits down to play his own video game, he wants to represent himself as a walking, talking Waylon Jennings song with a golf club. Simmons then excellently recognized the potential a John Daly video game might have- something akin to Tiger Woods Golf only like the part in GTA when you take the giant pill called "drugs" and your character can't see straight.

[ That Daly boy's gone cross the county line!]
[Simmons: I fellated Tiger and lived to tell the tale]

By the way- peep this dude, who makes the Scarface-airbrush equivalent of outsider art (but on purpose, not because he's in an asylum)

I got caught cheating on a metaphysics exam

Note: this post is in no way intended as a commentary on any of our more recent posts, specifically Noixe's most recent piece, which was as fine a work as has ever graced this page, if I do say.
You know, just when you thought that there were some things we had all agreed on...A soccer coach in North Carolina plays an Adolf Hitler speech over the PA system at a game to get his team fired up.

"Paige Laurie, whose son Blake Laurie plays midfield for Charlotte Catholic, heard the pregame speech from the parking lot, where some of the team parents were tailgating.
"We basically heard Hitler over the intercom and couldn't believe it," she said. "You know when you hear something and aren't sure what you heard? It's like, `Is that what I really heard?'"

[This is the sound of your mind's gears grating to a halt]

The story requires a subscription to view (It's from the Charlotte Observer, which has that annoying Knight-Ridder subscription firewall), so I'll treat you to some of the highlights here:

When Charlotte Catholic's boys' soccer team got to Forestview High School in Gastonia on Saturday night for an N.C. 3A playoff game, the Cougars heard something over the public address system they never would've expected:
A 90-second portion of a speech from Adolf Hitler.
"We were warming up," said Catholic coach Gary Hoilett, "and all of us stopped and looked up at the booth. We were just real shocked. It was obviously a Hitler speech. The voice was coming across clearly. Everybody knew."
Forestview's players took the field after the speech ended.
But before the game, Hoilett said, some Forestview players were chanting something in German that means "On to victory," according to one of his players who speaks German. Hoilett, who is black, said that during the game some Forestview players directed racial epithets at his two black players.
"It was one of the worst things I've seen," Hoilett said of the speech and the racial epithets....

But it doesn't end there. Oh no. Here's the apology from the principal of Forestview High, Robert Carpenter:

"Sometime back Coach Shearer and the team started using "On to victory" as a slogan. We have a German exchange student on our team. He taught our students to say it in German. Some of our more zealous students sought to capture this slogan in German and to play it on the PA.
They copied it from a speech by Hitler but could not just copy the "on to victory" and got too much of the speech. Student intent was to only play the "on to victory" clip. Unfortunately at one time a good bit of the speech was played on the PA during the pre-game."

That's about at much of an admission of remorse as this guy gives throughout the whole letter. And people wonder why us Jews have our backs up all the time.

[Charlotte Observer: Shickelgruber a Faux Pas]
Thanks to for the lookout.

Jews Sayin 2000 (pt. 1)

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Just to make this perfectly clear: there are two writers on this blog. There's me (noixe), and the other guy (GentleWhoadie9000). GW9K has the David Langleib connection. I'd never heard of him until this whole thing blew up. That might not be clear to some people out on the internets; if I've learned anything from all this, it's that you can't assume anything is obvious. Ever. Anyways.)

My first reaction when I sat down to write a response to the large number of people finding our site by googling "David Langlieb + jew," and to dudes like Souaveck, was to say something sarcastic and Jew-centric. Something like "good thing the Five Jew Bankers can protect my Hebrew brother until this blows over." Unfortunately, in light of recent events, I think there's a real concern that implying that Langleib is hiding in a war room under a synagogue somewhere in Brooklyn would be taken seriously, and that some boys in Greenpoint would call off work and go get the gat.

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First and foremost, Langleib's article was inane. It wasn't funny and it wasn't insightful. And it was most definately offensive. Good satire is intelligent and absurd beyond question. It has to show a firm, detailed understanding of the situation being lampooned. Apparently, all David could muster was the tradition of Polish jokes and the basic ills of gentrification. People got offended because all he brought to the table was Starbucks jokes and "how to sink a Polish ship". If he wanted to do it right, he would have mentioned the 1939 invasion of Poland. For example, developers and young professionals are invading Greenpoint, just like the Nazis invaded Poland to start WWII. Extra bonus points if he compares the hipster contingent to the Soviet Union for collaborating with the yuppies (they represent Germany, remember?) by diluting the area's Polish culture by throwing shows at Warsaw. See? Five minutes of basic fact-checking on Wikipedia and he could have at least been funny.

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The anti-Semitic backlash is scary, as it's never good to be reminded how quickly it goes there, especially in parts of modern Europe. But the real shock here is seeing a Jewish writer fuck up sarcasm so badly. Within all the stern language which fills the Langleib-related comments sections, a common theme appears to be 'how exactly can one be sure it was sarcasm?' Well, aside from the fact that reputable liberal arts colleges don't print racist manifestoes in their alumni newsletters, Langleib is Jewish, and ironic humor is the bread and butter of the modern Jew. In my 7th grade social studies class in North Carolina, a black kid in the back of the room yelled out "man, I hate Jews" during a lesson on the Holocaust. My teacher (who began that day's lesson by stating that "hundreds" of people died) calmly responded that it wasn't appropriate to air personal prejudices in the middle of class, then continued teaching. Had someone yelled out a racial epiphet during a lesson on slavery, there would have been outrage, suspensions and cracked teeth. But the double-standard is not the point; I could have said spoken up, but that's not how Jews roll. I mean, yelling something out in the middle of a quiet classroom is funny, especially when you're 12 years old. When it's a blatant slur, that shit is great.

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The world throws the dumbest shit possible at us. When we don't get the plague because we don't have kitchens full of rats, we must have started the plague. When Nazi Germany massacres millions of Jews, we are somehow blamed for World War II. Then, a generation later, someone tries to deny it happened. And when a clique of evangelical wizards starts an American proxy war in the Middle East, everyone wants to blame the Zionist conspiracy. We find all of this hilarious, and we think you're all sort of insane. How do we know David Langleib doesn't seriously think Polacks are stupid? Because he reacted like Michael Bluth. The smart money says a forehead slap was involved.

A better-written satire probably wouldn't stop the anti-Semitism, but it would have made a better point. Through all of this, nobody is talking about the impending development of Greenpoint. With Williamsburg officially declared "over" by seven out of ten bloggers, Greenpoint, just to the north, is picking up the slack. Standing in McCarren Park Pool, on the border between Williamsburg and Greenpoint, you can literally see three apartment buildings going up in every direction you look. Langlieb doesn't want a Banana Republic on Manhattan Ave., and his article was supposed to point out that that is exactly what will happen in a few years on the current path. Complaining about development in Brooklyn is pretty tired, especially coming from exactly the kind of transplant that drives gentrification. But if when someone gets around to blaming the rich Jewish developers for driving Poland out of north Brooklyn, it would be nice to get an ironic laugh out of this incident. Unfortunately, when this theoretical moment comes and future-David Langlieb says "told you so," the answer will be a resounding "no you didn't."

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Monday, November 06, 2006

Go vote tomorrow or we will beat your ass

"It is startling that those in the media and academia appear most disturbed by this aberrant behavior, since they have zealously promoted moral relitivism by sanctioning "private" moral matters such as alternative lifestyles. Priests, like all of us, are affected by culture. When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."
-Rick Santorum, 7/12/2002
"How many Iraqi citizens have died in this war? I would say 30,000, more or less, have died as a result of the initial incursion and the ongoing violence against Iraqis. We've lost about 2,140 of our own troops in Iraq."
-George W. Bush, 12/12/2005
"If you're not electing Christians, then in essence you are going to legislate sin."
-Katherine Harris, 8/2006

OK, I know Bush isn't up for anything, nor will he be again, but...

Chicks be takin it up the 10010 for the 110-00

Please direct your attention to the web preview of XXL's "History of Cocaine Rap." The way it starts out, I actually might buy a copy of this jawn...Scratch that, I'll just get a fade and read it in the chair.

Record keeps spinnin baby round and round

Congratulations to Jason Bay and the Pittsburgh Pirates- by default, you are the second best professional sports team in Pittsburgh! In order to hold this crown, you have to lose less than 120 games next year. I know that's going to be a rather difficult task, I'm not sure you guys have enough throwing errors or hanging curveballs to lose 120- that's hard! It's been a while since you've been in the top two-thirds of Pittsburgh's pro sports rankings (having been tied for last with the Penguins for so long behind the A-League soccer team), so let me give you some pointers on how to look and act like you belong.

1. Make no more than 3 to 4 crushing mental mistakes per game. This one is expecially important, because you must make sure that you preserve a roughly 1 in 4 chance of winning based solely on your opponent's mistakes.

2. Make sure you take a nose dive early in the year in order to prevent false hopes from developing. If this approach fails, be sure choke spectacularly in the first or second round of the playoffs.

3. Do not practice catching stuff, ensuring a limited success rate in this facet of your operations.

Steelers, now that you're in third, it's time to pick up an over-the-hill veteran to take up space on the 60-day DL!
-Also, Senor Pilly Wonk over at the Nation of Thizzlam has some tidbits on his addiction to BALLINNNNNNN and an explaination of the next phase of gettin dumb. I'm gonna start buying the URLs for every phrase containing the word "dumb" from now on. bitches!!!!

-For those of you who ain't heard, new Ghostface December 12th, called More Fish. There's also a Ghostface/Beyonce track floating out there in the ether somewhere.
Ghostface f/ Trife da God- "Good" (mp3)

Noixe is gonna get at you a little later on some serious business. By the way, I'd like to reiterate that anonymous comments of a confrontational nature will be DELETED.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Super bols

Only four teams have made the NFL playoffs after a start of 2-5 or worse. But remember, only one team has won the Super Bowl as a 6 seed. I'm not saying the playoffs are in the cards. I'm. Just. Sayin.

Anybody calling for Chazzie Batch is completely insane. The Steelers fan pathology I loathe most is the knee jerk "bench-the-QB" reaction. Terry Bradshaw, winner of four Super Bowls, was so disgusted with the way he went out that he spent twenty years pretending he never put on the B&G. And let's not forget the Mike Tomczak/Kordell Whatshisname revolving door. If he doesn't become a brain damaged vegetable, BB7 is going to be running this squad for another 6 to 10 odd years- long after you've choked to death on a kielbasa in the Heinz Field parking lot... unless of course he gets benched, disgruntled and released after a handful of unfortunate games.

The 2006 season is likely lost, save a miraculous rally. Let's not hijack 2007.

But hold up, does Evgeni Malkin know how to read a Cover 2?

[Trib: Role model time- it's the 1990 Saints!]

Saturday, November 04, 2006

that's where I stay

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I like how he (Bun, presumably) drew in Lake Okeechobee.
(thanks Ian)

I shall call today September 2nd

For those of you here for yesterday's post about David Langlieb and the Great Greenpoint Pierogie Debacle, you can read it by clicking on the link at the end of this post. There you will also find a link to the Google cache where you can read the actual column, which was deleted by the Alumni Magazine. Also, if you haven't made with some scroll button action, please do read noixe's most recent post, which contains links to his excellently crafted record reviews in

A few thoughts in the aftermath:

-First, David Langlieb is a kid who did something stupid and, for the first time, he got a taste of the real world reaction that arrises from a joke gone sour, much like John Kerry now knows. I see dozens and dozens of people ariving at this site from Polish IP addresses, likely directed by their American relatives and friends. There is a lot of rock salt in a lot of gashes today. Give the guy a break, he didn't mean it. Seriously he's harmless.

-Second, I am amazed at the speed with which this thing got out of hand. It kind of makes me want to start making ghettotech house records dirtier than they've ever been made before. Only about an ethnic minority. Unless somebody wants to give me a Polish record deal right now. Blackmail. Sayin.
[JustSayin2000: The Last Word? (11/3/06)]
[Google Cached link to the Column in Question]

Friday, November 03, 2006

The last word?

I got the Haverford College Alumni Magazine in the mail about a week ago. After about three to four average length bowel movements I had leafed through it and tossed it aside. In the back there was an article by former Bi-Co News humor columnist, the world's most hilarious shut-in, David Langlieb. The article was a satire of gentrifiers set in the neighborhood of Greenpoint, Brooklyn with a less than tongue-in-cheeck forwardness and a whole bunch of nasty Polack jokes. Now the shit has completely hit the fan as the article has moved such institutions as the NY Sun, the Polish Consul General, Haverford President Tommy Tritton (who was the cover boy for the magazine), the New York Daily News and Gawker to wig the fuck out.

In this day and age, a clear caveat is necessary to alert a reader as to your satirical purposes. As you'll recall, satire is defined (by the American Heritage Dictionary) as "a literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit." Langlieb does not throw up the requisite red flag to say "I'm only kidding." Furthermore, he takes the liberty of making as many nasty jokes as possible, many of them peripheral to his point. As Tommy T was quoted by the Sun as saying, the article "the writing was insufficiently clever and the language so ineptly employed that, rather than a work of satire with an arguable point, the end result came through as mean spirited and close minded." Tritton is right, and it's unfortunate that there are such holes in what is the biggest moment of Langlieb's young career.

In his attempt at Jonathan Swift-eque shock value, Langlieb must be prepared to accept the consequences, namely fame. However, fame is not the object when you write for the Haverford College Alumni Magazine. In all likelihood, Langlieb slammed this article out in a day expecting the Magazine's readers to be too busy with the marriage announcements that preceed it to even notice his piece. Frankly, I find the sudden importance of this article to be almost as ironic as the article itself.

Maybe today's nationwide release of the Borat movie will put this whole incident in appropriate perspective. What is it about Jews with their satirical racism, Christian baby South Beach diet and world media conspiricy?
As an aside, I know the author of the New York Sun's piece on the issue, Annie Karni. She is a Haverford Alum. I don't know if her assignment to this story is journalistically ethical or journalistically shrewd. As a result, I heard about this brou-ha-ha yesterday, but didn't honestly expect it to get as blown-up as it did. All publicity for Haverford seems to be bad these days.

(Full disclosure: Langlieb lives with my old roommate, who is about ten times as Polish as they come and has a giant Polish eagle tatoo on his shoulder)

[HC Alum Mag: Langlieb: I am moved to put foot in mouth]
[NY Sun: Polish community unprepared for non-lightbulb related jokes]
[NY Daily News: Are Polish joke headlines off-limits now?]
[Gawker: Pile-on!, we're Gawker]

Edit: As if to prove my point, I have stumbled across somebody who read Langlieb's article and, with absolutely no mental penetration into the article, blogged about it:

Second, he wants to raise his children "amidst lawyers and investment bankers." Well, Langlieb obviously cares nothing about giving his kids any moral values. Of course, these kids would learn their sense of commitment to social improvement (read: eugenics) from their dear old gentrifying dad."

[Transparentique: My critical thinking apparatus is transparentique]

hold up

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First and foremost, I'm not up on the forefront of the indie rock war, so I haven't been skipping work and staying up until 6 in the morning to soak up all the CMJ-related goodness that this city might have to offer. It's a given that I'm gonna go see Clipse and Trae tomorrow night, but I'd like to also announce my proud endorsement of tonight's Product Shop NYC showcase, featuring The Thermals.

I whole heartedly fucks with The Thermals, and their secret blend of existential pop-punk. Their new album, The Body, The Blood, The Machine brings the political outrage without the self-righteousness. It's easy to process lyrics like "our power doesn't run on nothing / it runs on blood / and blood is easy to attain / when you have no shame," but these dudes have been much less blatant for the rest of their career, so the rapid shift to Tom Tomorrow-style cheap shots isn't particularly annoying. Entirely worth you time and your money.


The always admirable dudes DJ Ayres and Cosmo Baker have blessed the #1 Patron of Underground Rap with a promo mix. Award Tour has Grandmaster Caz shouting out Scion, Jim Jones shouting out Scion, and P-Thugg from Chromeo shouting out Scion (through a vocoder). Cosmo and Ayres cram a lot of styles into one disc and their short attention span gets a little annoying, but their selection is, as always, top-notch. And I'm wholeheartedly down with anything that includes Spankrock's "Chilly Will". The damn mix is free, so when you pick up the absolutely essential Bamabounce 12" from The Ayres store, you'll get it anyways. Aight?


It's pretty rare that I'll get so excited about something that I'd write about it without even hearing it, but this new B.Cause and Max Kane tape is a sure shot. B.Cause has been leaking these weird one-off super-nuanced blends to the internets for a minute now, and they absolutely kill shit. Too advanced to be dismissed as blends, but too simple (in a good way) to be remixes, has been hitting that sweet spot for DJ production which lazy-ass Laffy-Taffy-over-some-other-beat dudes wish they could find. Him and Ross Hogg are also responsible for the absolutely necessary Slump and Grind tapes, for us Bay-loving carpetbaggeurs, so anything he does is worth a look in my book.


I been putting in work elsewhere, so please check my thoughts on the Juggaknots' Use Your Confusion, J.R. Writer's History in the Making, and the poorly-named Underground Hip-Hop Vol. 4.


And some links:

-Jewish minstrelry revived.
(thanks Kathryn)

-Ghost Stories - Quixoticism
Because I've played out all the Elliot Smith albums I have.
(thanks to a Yeti)

-Eminem's Enemies
Because it's easy to lose track. (Don't worry: "Detailed beef info is being gathered.") They're on the case!

-Another Night on Earth
As I begrudgingly accept that there's some house out there I should be fucking with, this blog is making it easy.