Thursday, October 05, 2006

there's a war goin on outside no man is safe from

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In the span of a week, there's been a knife attack which ended in a shooting and a fatal car crash in my usually serene corner of Brooklyn. Whoa.

It's hard to get too upset about the Steelers' poor start because football itself is a pretty sorry mess right now. Glancing at Dr. Z's Power Rankings, only Da Bears haven't seriously gotten seriously embarassed yet. The Colts and the Patriots both almost collapsed fantastically to the theoretically pathetic Jets. The Bengals got their asses handed to them easily last week, as did the Seahawks. Nobody had anything nice to say about the Racist Team Names or the Broncos last week; the Broncos seem like they're mostly there for posterity. The Ravens are frauds, and they beat the Chargers last week.

Speaking of the Bolts, I wish there was a little more vitriol in this article about Ben's attitude towards their Sunday opponent. It started off promising: Ben has a list, Big Ben's Ten Most Wanted. It's the teams that passed him up. And featured prominently are the Chargers, opting instead for Phillip Rivers, by way of Elijah Manning. This all sounds pretty promising, the kind of vendetta that could drive a monster come-back this weekend.

But then it gets straight softbatch:

"It's not him, I have nothing against him," Roethlisberger said of Rivers. "I like playing San Diego because they had a pick -- anybody who was in the top 10, I kind of like to play against, it feels good."

Are you kidding? You fucking hate him, Ben. This is the Chargers: they didn't believe in you. Yeah, you've stomped out every non-believer in the country with two off-chain seasons and One for the Thumb, but they didn't think you were any good. And they fucked up your knee last season! On some cheap-shot helmet-leading doo-doo.

It does not "feel good" to play the Chargers. You hate the Chargers. You want them all dead. You want to drive over Ladanian Tomlinson's face with a dump truck. You want Quentin Jammer's still-beating heart on a plate. And Phillip Rivers--they thought he was better than you? Oh hell to the fuck no. Man up and kill somebody, Ben. Bring the Central Ohio ruckus.