Friday, July 07, 2006

Things are exprrroding in my brain!

While I'm busy stupidly attempting to craft meaningful blog entries more deserving of the cutting floor of The New Yorker for Dummies, I suppose I should bless all of you loyal reader(s) with some real, useful information. Actually, before I do so, I'd like to relate the fact that even unproductive blogging makes it really difficult to schedule dental appointments or shop for groceries. Instead, it compels one to blither about nonsense while listening to Lou Reed album sides twice in a row. OK OK, here goes:

There are some movies worth seeing that are going to become manifest in the not too distant future (not counting Snakes on a Plane and Miami Vice). I will now tell you things about them you could probably figure out for yourself:

-First off, there's the long awaited, highly anticipated Borat movie, Borat. It's pretty much impossible to attempt to replicate the Sasha Baron Cohen genius in a controlled environment, like he attempted in Da Ali G Movie. So in this one, they go with the standard bumbling-idiot-exposes-American-prejudices routine which works so well. OK, so they appear to just recycle the 4 or 5 jokes which comprise the entire breadth of the Borat sketches on Da Ali G Show, but frankly, this can't go wrong. Wawaweewa. Release: Nov. 06.

-Next we have Once in a Lifetime, which attempts to piggyback on any remaining World Cup fever by telling a story of the New York Cosmos. They were cool and all, but I think this movie really exaggerates their importance in American culture at the time (Pele excepted). The trailer gives me the impression that the movie pivots on unscrupulous behavior by Giorgio Chinaglia. The whole corrupt Italian footballers theme may make the film slightly more germaine in light of current scandals, but I doubt this will go anywhere, despite its strong reviews. I guess I'll watch it in case Franz Beckenbauer gets coked out with Elton John. Release: July 7th, 06 (Today)

Tiempos Extras:
-Even before Port of Miami has even hit the shelves (Aug 1st), el jefe Rick Ross's Hustlin' has gone ringtones. Your boy got a gold celly in a plaque. Let's just say the entire universe is on his dick right now. Dude could bring peace to the middle east if he so chooses. Welcome to the new century.

-And, courtesy of a tip from deadspin, I present to you a glorification/subversion of everything I stand for: