Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Used to have a fake arm. I lost it.

Let's play "Ask the internet":

-For anybody who wore their socks high in Pony League, recognize the real: ESPN Page 2's UniWatch column is
now a daily blog. If you're image-conscious enough to care about Cam's outfits and you're into sports, Paul Lukas provides a must-read.

-Have you ever seen a white boy hold so much heat?

Dude's pants are like a clown car. Since I was in high school during the Columbine thing, I get a little nostalgic seeing that. I miss the days when merely having raging hormones was grounds for being treated like a fugitive. All a 17 year old needs is an excess of reasons for angsty, rightgeous indignation. I also remember when Noixe got suspended for sponsoring a
game of assassin about two weeks after Columbine.

So many questions with this one. Are kids these days packing Derringers a la 1890? Did the producers steal this idea from "Fear of a Black Hat?" Do you think that anybody can sit down with a full-length shotgun in their pants? Is this how James Bond was able to carry so much shit at once in Goldeneye? With all those guns in his pants, where does he keep his drugs and pornography? Are you fucking with me?

-As a follow up to
last week's dime about Geno's Steaks owner Joey Vento's xenophobic tendancies, he went on Radio Times with hipster crush Marty Moss-Coane (who my girl says is the worst interviewer ever, a point with which I'm inclined to agree). Joey, who has the ill South Philly brogue, procedes make like IronyBot2.0 and butcher the English language while lambasting immigrants. "The economical opportunity...comes to those that speak English...The bottom line is, my grandparents had a very hard time with the English language...They were locked into that mold. They paid the price." Your boy has a saunch refusal to make sense. You can listen to his bullshit on WHYY's website (need real audio).